Pressé par le temps dans l'aéroport, je me suis arrêté pour acheter de l'eau. Devant le réfrigérateur du magasin, un homme était penché, en train de remplir des bouteilles. J'ai tendu le bras par-dessus son épaule et j'en ai pris une. Il a levé les yeux, s'est arrêté, a pris une bouteille sur une autre étagère et me l'a tendue en disant : « Celle-ci est fraîche. » Je l'ai remercié et j'ai pris celle qu'il m'offrait.
Il ne me connaissait pas et ne me reverrait jamais. Son travail consistait à mettre les produits en rayon, pas à servir les clients. Il était occupé et semblait fatigué. Mais il a pris le temps de remarquer que j'avais pris une bouteille tiède et, soucieux de mon bien-être, il a changé de poste pour m'en apporter une fraîche. Il m'a souhaité bonne chance.
Je revois son regard bienveillant tandis que j'écris ces lignes, une semaine plus tard. Ce n'était qu'une bouteille d'eau. Mais sa gentillesse m'a réchauffé le cœur et ses bonnes intentions m'ont réconforté.
En reconnaissant les bonnes intentions des autres, nous nous sentons plus en sécurité, plus soutenus et plus heureux. Et lorsque les autres sentent que vous comprenez leurs bonnes intentions, ils se sentent vus, appréciés et plus enclins à bien vous traiter.
Il est parfois difficile de reconnaître la bonne volonté chez autrui. Nous sommes constamment occupés, distraits et stressés. Les intentions positives sont souvent masquées par des comportements négatifs. Notre cerveau, naturellement enclin à la négativité, est constamment à l'affût de mauvaises nouvelles et de mauvaises intentions. De plus, il réagit à la nouveauté et a donc tendance à ignorer les nombreuses intentions positives qui imprègnent la plupart de nos vies quotidiennes, tout en mettant en lumière les rares intentions négatives.
Il faut donc rechercher activement les bonnes intentions. Alors, vous les trouverez tout autour de vous : une fenêtre ouverte sur la bonté profonde qui réside en chaque être, aussi voilée soit-elle.
Comment?
Prenez un instant pour reconnaître les nombreuses bonnes intentions — objectifs, buts, désirs — que vous avez au cours d'une journée typique.
Les bonnes intentions n'ont pas besoin d'être irréprochables. Vouloir savourer une tasse de café, prendre un bon petit-déjeuner, fermer la porte à clé, arriver à l'heure au travail, être consciencieux, se sentir en sécurité, prendre soin de sa famille, être une personne bienveillante, éviter les ennuis, souffrir moins, apprécier une douceur, ne pas se disputer, vivre jusqu'au lever du soleil : ce sont là de bonnes intentions.
La plupart des bonnes intentions sont modestes. Mais elles n'en sont pas moins importantes. Imaginez les conséquences désastreuses si vous les remplaciez par de mauvaises ! Certes, certaines intentions sont moins louables, comme le désir de dominer, de céder à des envies addictives ou de déverser sa négativité sur autrui. Mais pour la quasi-totalité d'entre nous, la grande majorité des intentions sont bonnes. Laissez cette conviction, cette sensation viscérale, devenir une émotion profonde : vous êtes une personne animée de bonnes intentions.
Lorsque vous discutez avec un ami, soyez attentif à ses bonnes intentions. Quel effet cela vous fait-il de les percevoir ? Essayez de faire cet exercice régulièrement avec les personnes qui vous sont chères. Je trouve que cela m’aide à mieux comprendre les autres et à ouvrir mon cœur. Le cas échéant, partagez avec l’autre personne ce que vous avez appris ; entendre la reconnaissance des bonnes intentions de quelqu’un peut être une expérience très enrichissante.
Essayez de déceler les bonnes intentions chez les inconnus que vous croisez dans la rue ou à l'aéroport. Vous remarquerez de nombreuses marques de courtoisie, des efforts pour bien faire, le désir de comprendre et d'être compris, la loyauté envers ses amis et les causes qu'ils défendent, l'équité et la bienveillance. Cet exercice me réjouit et renforce mon sentiment d'humanité commune.
Essayez aussi cette approche avec les personnes qui vous posent problème. Il ne s'agit pas de les excuser. Mais, paradoxalement, percevoir de bonnes intentions malgré des comportements inappropriés peut vous aider à vous sentir moins affecté·e – moins stressé·e, irrité·e ou inquiet·ète – par les autres. Vous pourriez également demander aux autres de reconnaître vos bonnes intentions.
Il y a en chacun de nous une étincelle de pureté, même dans le miroir. Reconnaître les bonnes intentions attise cette flamme, l'alimente et la transforme en un feu chaleureux et magnifique.
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This is a great article and it is true that so many things we do in a day, or automatically are just to look after ourselves/others and we are all filled with good intentions/
Rabbi Moses Cordovero: "Remember all human beings always in the innocence of their infancy."
nice
article (technically)..but I surely see also the danger as pointed out by the
reply of Bei Yin. To ad also a critical but appreciating comment. It's not
entirely about the article but about it's base/ foundation. actually the first
sentence,, .'let our intentions be good.' What is good? what is intention? what
is the action (of letting be)? We write about it if intention and good are two
separate things. If there is a commonsense or common-consensus of 'good' and
the values that this contains and that intention is a thing we let
happen. Maybe it’s just me, and that is certainly the case, but I see things
this way; If one doesn’t dissociate oneself
from his or her intention and trains oneself to walk in line with this
intention we won’t have to spend energy in forging ourselves on terms like good
or intention. We wouldn’t have to spend any energy in creating world images of
good behavior and their fruits. Instead we would just create, we do every
moment. And the fact that there are billions of people around just means you
are not alone, make use of that instead of convicting it.
Thank you, Rick
Hanson for the article, Grenville Kleisser for the quote, Bei Yin for drawing
my attention to it, ‘dailygood’ for placing and distributing it on internet,
internet for the world wide context, and the world for creating this medium….special
thanks to creation (the action and the result….)
Just one
[Hide Full Comment]thing: If my intention is commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention? If my intention is not commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention?
Napoleon Hill wrote about how the tipping point of economic failure to economic recovery post great depression was based on the shift from a sense of service. Much like the man who handed you the cold bottle of water. It's that subtle a difference in giving consciousness that can change the world. Great post!
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones."
[Hide Full Comment](Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset. - But at least it might trigger some thoughts that are not just influenced by ones need for confirmation...
--- Or is this too much and so unwanted by the moderator?
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is
[Hide Full Comment]continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones." (Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a
society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset.
Thanks for the article!
Love this! Thank you.
So true, we see what we focus upon! thank you for the reminder.
The following sentence really made me think. "Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones!" Thank you!