Ég þaut í gegnum flugvöll og stoppaði til að kaupa mér vatn. Við ísskápinn í búðinni stóð maður beygður niður og var að setja flöskur í hann. Ég rétti fram hjá honum og dró upp eina sem hann hafði sett í hann. Hann leit upp, hætti að vinna, tók flösku af annarri hillu og rétti mér hana og sagði: „Þessi er köld.“ Ég þakkaði fyrir og tók þá sem hann bauð mér.
Hann þekkti mig ekki og myndi aldrei sjá mig aftur. Starf hans var að selja birgðir, ekki þjónusta viðskiptavini. Hann var upptekinn og leit þreyttur út. En hann gaf sér tíma til að átta sig á því að ég hafði fengið heita flösku og honum var nógu annt um mig til að skipta um gír og gefa mér eina kalda. Hann óskaði mér alls hins besta.
Ég sé vingjarnleg augu hans fyrir mér núna, viku síðar, þegar ég skrifa þetta. Þetta var bara vatnsflaska. En góðvild hans gleður mig og góðum ásetningi hans veitir mér hvatningu.
Þegar við þekkjum jákvæðar fyrirætlanir annarra finnum við fyrir öryggi, meiri stuðningi og hamingju. Og þegar aðrir finna að þú skiljir góðu fyrirætlanir þeirra, finnst þeim þeir vera séðir, metnir að verðleikum og líklegri til að koma vel fram við þig.
En það getur verið erfitt að greina velvildina í öðrum. Við erum upptekin, annars hugar og stressuð. Jákvæð markmið eru oft falin undir neikvæðri hegðun. Meðfædd neikvæðni heilans leitar stöðugt að slæmum fréttum og slæmum ásetningi. Heilinn bregst einnig við nýjungum, þannig að hann hefur tilhneigingu til að hunsa þær mörgu jákvæðu ásetningar sem gegnsýra stærstan hluta daglegs lífs á meðan hann varpar ljósi á þær neikvæðu einstaka sinnum.
Þú verður því að leita virkan að góðum ásetningi. Þá munt þú finna hann alls staðar í kringum þig – glugga að djúpri gæsku í hverri veru, sama hversu hulin hún er.
Hvernig?
Taktu þér smá stund til að viðurkenna þær mörgu góðu áform — markmið, tilgang og langanir — sem þú hefur á dæmigerðum degi.
Góðar fyrirætlanir þurfa ekki að vera heilagar. Að vilja njóta kaffibolla, borða góðan morgunverð, læsa hurðinni á eftir sér, mæta á réttum tíma í vinnuna, vera samviskusamur, finna fyrir öryggi, annast fjölskyldu, vera sæmileg manneskja, forðast vandræði, særa minna, njóta einhvers sæts, rífast ekki, lifa til að sjá sólarupprásina – þetta eru allt góðar fyrirætlanir.
Flestar góðar fyrirætlanir verða smáar. En þær skipta samt máli. Ímyndaðu þér bara hörmungarnar ef þú skiptir út góðum fyrirætlunum þínum fyrir slæmar! Vissulega eru sumar fyrirætlanir ekki eins góðar, eins og löngun til að drottna, bregðast við ávanabindandi löngun eða hella neikvæðum tilfinningum yfir á aðra. En fyrir næstum alla eru langflestir fyrirætlanir góðar. Láttu það verða að tilfinningu, sterkri tilfinningu í líkamanum, að þú ert einhver með góðar fyrirætlanir.
Þegar þú talar við vin skaltu vera meðvitaður um jákvæðar fyrirætlanir hans eða hennar. Hvernig líður þér að sjá þær? Prófaðu þetta reglulega með fólki sem þér þykir vænt um. Ég finn að þetta hjálpar mér að skilja aðra betur og opnar hjarta mitt. Segðu hinum aðilanum frá því sem þú hefur lært, eftir því sem við á; að heyra viðurkenningu á góðum fyrirætlunum getur verið öflug upplifun.
Reyndu að sjá góðar fyrirætlanir hjá ókunnugum sem ganga niður götuna – eða á flugvelli. Þú munt sjá mikla kurteisi, viðleitni til að standa sig vel, löngun til að skilja eða vera skilinn, hollustu við vini og málefni, sanngirni og góðvild. Þessi iðkun gleður mig og gefur mér sterkari skilning á sameiginlegri mannúð okkar.
Prófaðu þetta líka með fólki sem er erfitt fyrir þig. Þetta er ekki til að afsaka það. En að sjá góðar fyrirætlanir innan um slæma hegðun getur, kaldhæðnislega, hjálpað þér að finna fyrir minni áhrifum – minni streitu, pirringi eða áhyggjum – af öðru fólki. Þú gætir líka beðið aðra um að taka eftir góðum fyrirætlunum í þér.
Í hverju og einu okkar býr glóð heilagleika, þar á meðal í þeim sem horfir um öxl í speglinum. Að þekkja góðar fyrirætlanir blæs á glóðina, bætir við hana eldsneyti og hjálpar henni að vaxa í hlýjan og fallegan loga.
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This is a great article and it is true that so many things we do in a day, or automatically are just to look after ourselves/others and we are all filled with good intentions/
Rabbi Moses Cordovero: "Remember all human beings always in the innocence of their infancy."
nice
article (technically)..but I surely see also the danger as pointed out by the
reply of Bei Yin. To ad also a critical but appreciating comment. It's not
entirely about the article but about it's base/ foundation. actually the first
sentence,, .'let our intentions be good.' What is good? what is intention? what
is the action (of letting be)? We write about it if intention and good are two
separate things. If there is a commonsense or common-consensus of 'good' and
the values that this contains and that intention is a thing we let
happen. Maybe it’s just me, and that is certainly the case, but I see things
this way; If one doesn’t dissociate oneself
from his or her intention and trains oneself to walk in line with this
intention we won’t have to spend energy in forging ourselves on terms like good
or intention. We wouldn’t have to spend any energy in creating world images of
good behavior and their fruits. Instead we would just create, we do every
moment. And the fact that there are billions of people around just means you
are not alone, make use of that instead of convicting it.
Thank you, Rick
Hanson for the article, Grenville Kleisser for the quote, Bei Yin for drawing
my attention to it, ‘dailygood’ for placing and distributing it on internet,
internet for the world wide context, and the world for creating this medium….special
thanks to creation (the action and the result….)
Just one
[Hide Full Comment]thing: If my intention is commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention? If my intention is not commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention?
Napoleon Hill wrote about how the tipping point of economic failure to economic recovery post great depression was based on the shift from a sense of service. Much like the man who handed you the cold bottle of water. It's that subtle a difference in giving consciousness that can change the world. Great post!
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones."
[Hide Full Comment](Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset. - But at least it might trigger some thoughts that are not just influenced by ones need for confirmation...
--- Or is this too much and so unwanted by the moderator?
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is
[Hide Full Comment]continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones." (Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a
society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset.
Thanks for the article!
Love this! Thank you.
So true, we see what we focus upon! thank you for the reminder.
The following sentence really made me think. "Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones!" Thank you!