Jag hastade genom en flygplats och stannade för att köpa lite vatten. Vid butikens kylskåp stod en man böjd fram och fyllde flaskor i det. Jag sträckte mig förbi honom och drog ut en han hade ställt i kylskåpet. Han tittade upp, slutade arbeta, tog en flaska från en annan hylla och räckte den till mig och sa "Den här är kall." Jag tackade och tog den han erbjöd mig.
Han kände mig inte och skulle aldrig se mig igen. Hans jobb var lagerhållning, inte kundservice. Han var upptagen och såg trött ut. Men han tog sig tid att notera att jag hade fått en varm flaska, och han brydde sig tillräckligt för att växla upp och hämta en kall åt mig. Han önskade mig lycka till.
Jag kan se hans vänliga ögon nu när jag skriver, en vecka senare. Det var bara en flaska vatten. Men jag känner mig varm i hjärtat av hans vänlighet och uppmuntrad av hans goda avsikter.
När vi inser andras positiva avsikter känner vi oss tryggare, mer stöttade och lyckligare. Och när andra känner att du förstår deras goda avsikter känner de sig sedda, uppskattade och mer benägna att behandla dig väl.
Men det kan vara svårt att känna igen den goda viljan hos andra. Vi är upptagna, distraherade och stressade. Positiva mål är ofta begravda under negativa beteenden. Hjärnans medfödda negativitetsbias söker ständigt efter dåliga nyheter och dåliga avsikter. Hjärnan reagerar också på nyheter, så den tenderar att ignorera de många positiva avsikter som genomsyrar det mesta av det dagliga livet, samtidigt som den lyfter fram de enstaka negativa.
Så du måste aktivt leta efter goda avsikter. Då hittar du dem överallt omkring dig – ett fönster in i den djupa godheten i varje varelse, oavsett hur fördunklad den är.
Hur?
Ta en minut för att inse de många goda avsikter – mål, syften, önskningar – som du har under en typisk dag.
Goda avsikter behöver inte vara heliga. Att vilja njuta av en kopp kaffe, äta en ordentlig frukost, låsa dörren bakom sig, komma till jobbet i tid, vara samvetsgrann, känna sig trygg, ta hand om en familj, vara en anständig person, undvika problem, lida mindre, njuta av något sött, inte gräla, leva för att se soluppgången – allt detta är goda avsikter.
De flesta goda avsikter kommer att vara små. Men de spelar fortfarande roll. Tänk dig bara katastroferna om du ersatte dina goda avsikter med dåliga! Visst, vissa avsikter är inte så bra, såsom önskan att dominera, ge ut beroendeframkallande begär eller dumpa negativa känslor på andra. Men för nästan alla är den stora majoriteten av avsikter goda. Låt det bli en känsla, en stark känsla i din kropp, att du är någon med goda avsikter.
När du pratar med en vän, var medveten om hans eller hennes positiva avsikter. Hur känns det att se dem? Prova detta regelbundet med människor du bryr dig om. Jag tycker att detta hjälper mig att förstå andra bättre och öppnar mitt hjärta. Berätta vid behov för den andra personen vad du har lärt dig; att höra ett erkännande av ens goda avsikter kan vara en kraftfull upplevelse.
Försök att se goda avsikter hos främlingar som går nerför gatan – eller på en flygplats. Du kommer att se många artigheter, ansträngningar att göra ett bra jobb, önskningar om att förstå eller bli förstådd, lojalitet mot vänner och ändamål, rättvist spel och vänlighet. Denna praktik gör mig glad och ger mig en starkare känsla av vår gemensamma mänsklighet.
Försök även med människor som är svåra för dig. Detta är inte för att ursäkta dem. Men att se goda avsikter mitt i dåliga beteenden kan ironiskt nog hjälpa dig att känna dig mindre påverkad – mindre stressad, irriterad eller orolig – av andra människor. Du kan också be andra att känna igen de goda avsikterna hos dig.
Det finns en glödande glöd i var och en av oss, inklusive den som ser tillbaka i spegeln. Att känna igen goda avsikter blåser på den glöden, ger den bränsle och hjälper den att växa till en varm och vacker låga.
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This is a great article and it is true that so many things we do in a day, or automatically are just to look after ourselves/others and we are all filled with good intentions/
Rabbi Moses Cordovero: "Remember all human beings always in the innocence of their infancy."
nice
article (technically)..but I surely see also the danger as pointed out by the
reply of Bei Yin. To ad also a critical but appreciating comment. It's not
entirely about the article but about it's base/ foundation. actually the first
sentence,, .'let our intentions be good.' What is good? what is intention? what
is the action (of letting be)? We write about it if intention and good are two
separate things. If there is a commonsense or common-consensus of 'good' and
the values that this contains and that intention is a thing we let
happen. Maybe it’s just me, and that is certainly the case, but I see things
this way; If one doesn’t dissociate oneself
from his or her intention and trains oneself to walk in line with this
intention we won’t have to spend energy in forging ourselves on terms like good
or intention. We wouldn’t have to spend any energy in creating world images of
good behavior and their fruits. Instead we would just create, we do every
moment. And the fact that there are billions of people around just means you
are not alone, make use of that instead of convicting it.
Thank you, Rick
Hanson for the article, Grenville Kleisser for the quote, Bei Yin for drawing
my attention to it, ‘dailygood’ for placing and distributing it on internet,
internet for the world wide context, and the world for creating this medium….special
thanks to creation (the action and the result….)
Just one
[Hide Full Comment]thing: If my intention is commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention? If my intention is not commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention?
Napoleon Hill wrote about how the tipping point of economic failure to economic recovery post great depression was based on the shift from a sense of service. Much like the man who handed you the cold bottle of water. It's that subtle a difference in giving consciousness that can change the world. Great post!
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones."
[Hide Full Comment](Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset. - But at least it might trigger some thoughts that are not just influenced by ones need for confirmation...
--- Or is this too much and so unwanted by the moderator?
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is
[Hide Full Comment]continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones." (Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a
society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset.
Thanks for the article!
Love this! Thank you.
So true, we see what we focus upon! thank you for the reminder.
The following sentence really made me think. "Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones!" Thank you!