Havaalanında aceleyle yürürken su almak için durdum. Dükkânın buzdolabının önünde bir adam eğilmiş, şişeleri dolduruyordu. Yanından uzanıp koyduğu şişelerden birini çıkardım. Başını kaldırıp baktı, çalışmayı bıraktı, başka bir raftan bir şişe aldı ve bana uzatarak "Bu soğuk," dedi. Teşekkür edip uzattığı şişeyi aldım.
Beni tanımıyordu ve bir daha asla görmeyecekti. İşi stokçuluktu, müşteri hizmetleri değil. Çok meşguldü ve yorgun görünüyordu. Ama sıcak bir biberon aldığımı fark etmek için zaman ayırdı ve konuyu değiştirip bana soğuk bir biberon getirecek kadar da önemsedi. Bana iyi dileklerini iletti.
Şimdi, bir hafta sonra, yazarken bile dost canlısı gözlerini görebiliyorum. Sadece bir şişe suydu. Ama nezaketi beni ısıtıyor ve iyi niyetiyle moral veriyor.
Başkalarının olumlu niyetlerini fark ettiğimizde kendimizi daha güvende, daha desteklenmiş ve daha mutlu hissederiz. Başkaları da iyi niyetlerini anladığımızı hissettiklerinde, kendilerini görüldüklerini, takdir edildiklerini hissederler ve size iyi davranmaya daha meyilli olurlar.
Ancak başkalarındaki iyi niyeti fark etmek zor olabilir. Meşgulüz, dikkatimiz dağılmış ve stresliyiz. Olumlu hedefler genellikle olumsuz davranışların altında gömülüdür. Beynin doğuştan gelen olumsuzluk eğilimi sürekli olarak kötü haberleri ve kötü niyetleri tarar. Beyin ayrıca yeniliğe tepki verir, bu yüzden günlük yaşamın çoğu alanına nüfuz eden birçok olumlu niyeti görmezden gelirken, ara sıra ortaya çıkan olumsuz niyetleri vurgulama eğilimindedir.
Bu yüzden iyi niyetleri aktif olarak aramalısınız. O zaman onları etrafınızda bulacaksınız; her varlıktaki derin iyiliğe açılan bir pencere, ne kadar gizli olursa olsun.
Nasıl?
Tipik bir günde sahip olduğunuz pek çok iyi niyeti - hedefleri, amaçları, arzuları - fark etmek için bir dakikanızı ayırın.
İyi niyetlerin kutsal olması gerekmez. Bir fincan kahvenin tadını çıkarmak, güzel bir kahvaltı yapmak, kapıyı arkanızdan kilitlemek, işe zamanında varmak, vicdanlı olmak, güvende hissetmek, bir aileye bakmak, iyi bir insan olmak, beladan uzak durmak, daha az incinmek, tatlı bir şeyin tadını çıkarmak, kavga etmemek, gün doğumunu görecek kadar yaşamak - bunların hepsi iyi niyetlerdir.
İyi niyetlerin çoğu önemsizdir. Ama yine de önemlidirler. İyi niyetlerinizi kötü niyetlerle değiştirirseniz başınıza gelebilecek felaketleri bir düşünün! Elbette, bazı niyetler o kadar da iyi değildir; örneğin hükmetme, bağımlılık yaratan arzuları dışa vurma veya başkalarına olumsuz duygular yükleme arzuları gibi. Ancak neredeyse herkes için niyetlerin büyük çoğunluğu iyidir. İyi niyetli biri olduğunuzun bedeninizde güçlü bir his, bir duygu haline gelmesine izin verin.
Bir arkadaşınızla konuşurken, onun olumlu niyetlerinin farkında olun. Onu görmek nasıl bir his? Bunu önemsediğiniz insanlarla düzenli olarak deneyin. Bunu yapmanın başkalarını daha iyi anlamama ve kalbimi açmama yardımcı olduğunu düşünüyorum. Uygun durumlarda, öğrendiklerinizi karşınızdaki kişiye anlatın; iyi niyetlerinizin takdir edildiğini duymak güçlü bir deneyim olabilir.
Sokakta veya havaalanında yürüyen yabancılarda iyi niyet görmeye çalışın. Bolca nezaket, iyi bir iş yapma çabası, anlama veya anlaşılma arzusu, arkadaşlara ve davalara sadakat, adil oyun ve nezaket göreceksiniz. Bu uygulama beni mutlu ediyor ve ortak insanlığımıza dair daha güçlü bir his veriyor.
Bunu sizin için zor olan insanlarla da deneyin. Bu onları mazur göstermek için değil. Ancak kötü davranışların arasında iyi niyet görmek, ironik bir şekilde, diğer insanlardan daha az etkilenmenize, daha az stresli, sinirli veya endişeli hissetmenize yardımcı olabilir. Ayrıca, başkalarından sizdeki iyi niyetleri fark etmelerini de isteyebilirsiniz.
Aynaya bakan da dahil olmak üzere her birimizin içinde bir kutsallık ateşi var. İyi niyetleri fark etmek, o ateşi körükler, ona yakıt katar ve sıcak ve güzel bir aleve dönüşmesine yardımcı olur.
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This is a great article and it is true that so many things we do in a day, or automatically are just to look after ourselves/others and we are all filled with good intentions/
Rabbi Moses Cordovero: "Remember all human beings always in the innocence of their infancy."
nice
article (technically)..but I surely see also the danger as pointed out by the
reply of Bei Yin. To ad also a critical but appreciating comment. It's not
entirely about the article but about it's base/ foundation. actually the first
sentence,, .'let our intentions be good.' What is good? what is intention? what
is the action (of letting be)? We write about it if intention and good are two
separate things. If there is a commonsense or common-consensus of 'good' and
the values that this contains and that intention is a thing we let
happen. Maybe it’s just me, and that is certainly the case, but I see things
this way; If one doesn’t dissociate oneself
from his or her intention and trains oneself to walk in line with this
intention we won’t have to spend energy in forging ourselves on terms like good
or intention. We wouldn’t have to spend any energy in creating world images of
good behavior and their fruits. Instead we would just create, we do every
moment. And the fact that there are billions of people around just means you
are not alone, make use of that instead of convicting it.
Thank you, Rick
Hanson for the article, Grenville Kleisser for the quote, Bei Yin for drawing
my attention to it, ‘dailygood’ for placing and distributing it on internet,
internet for the world wide context, and the world for creating this medium….special
thanks to creation (the action and the result….)
Just one
[Hide Full Comment]thing: If my intention is commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention? If my intention is not commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention?
Napoleon Hill wrote about how the tipping point of economic failure to economic recovery post great depression was based on the shift from a sense of service. Much like the man who handed you the cold bottle of water. It's that subtle a difference in giving consciousness that can change the world. Great post!
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones."
[Hide Full Comment](Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset. - But at least it might trigger some thoughts that are not just influenced by ones need for confirmation...
--- Or is this too much and so unwanted by the moderator?
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is
[Hide Full Comment]continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones." (Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a
society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset.
Thanks for the article!
Love this! Thank you.
So true, we see what we focus upon! thank you for the reminder.
The following sentence really made me think. "Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones!" Thank you!