Mentre corria per un aeroport, em vaig aturar a comprar aigua. A la nevera de la botiga, un home estava inclinat, omplint-hi ampolles. Vaig passar la mà per sobre d'ell i vaig treure'n una que hi havia posat. Va aixecar la vista, va deixar de treballar, va agafar una ampolla d'un altre prestatge i me la va oferir, dient: "Aquesta està freda". Vaig donar les gràcies i vaig agafar la que em va oferir.
No em coneixia i no em tornaria a veure mai més. La seva feina era fer compres, no atenció al client. Estava ocupat i semblava cansat. Però es va prendre el temps d'adonar-se que havia aconseguit un biberó calent, i es va preocupar prou per canviar de marxa i portar-me'n un de fred. Em desitjava el millor.
Puc veure els seus ulls amables mentre escric ara, una setmana després. Només era una ampolla d'aigua. Però em sento reconfortat per la seva amabilitat i animat per les seves bones intencions.
Reconeixent les intencions positives dels altres, ens sentim més segurs, més recolzats i més feliços. I quan els altres senten que entens les seves bones intencions, se senten vistos, apreciats i més inclinats a tractar-te bé.
Però pot ser difícil reconèixer la bona voluntat dels altres. Estem ocupats, distrets i estressats. Els objectius positius sovint estan enterrats sota els comportaments negatius. El biaix innat de negativitat del cervell està contínuament buscant males notícies, males intencions. El cervell també reacciona a la novetat, de manera que tendeix a ignorar les moltes intencions positives que impregnen la major part de la vida quotidiana mentre destaca les negatives ocasionals.
Així doncs, has de buscar activament les bones intencions. Aleshores les trobaràs al teu voltant: una finestra a la profunda bondat de cada ésser, per molt oculta que sigui.
Com?
Pren-te un minut per reconèixer les moltes bones intencions —objectius, propòsits, desitjos— que tens en un dia típic.
Les bones intencions no han de ser santes. Voler gaudir d'una tassa de cafè, esmorzar bé, tancar la porta amb clau, arribar a la feina a temps, ser conscient, sentir-se segur, cuidar una família, ser una persona decent, evitar problemes, patir menys, gaudir d'alguna cosa dolça, no barallar-se, viure per veure la sortida del sol: totes aquestes són bones intencions.
La majoria de les bones intencions seran petites. Però encara importen. Imagineu-vos els desastres si substituíssiu les vostres bones intencions per dolentes! És clar que algunes intencions no són tan bones, com ara els desitjos de dominar, actuar segons anhels addictius o abocar sentiments negatius sobre els altres. Però per a gairebé tothom, la gran majoria de les intencions són bones. Deixeu que es converteixi en un sentiment, una forta sensació al vostre cos, que sou algú amb bones intencions.
Parlant amb un amic o amiga, sigues conscient de les seves intencions positives. Com et sents en veure'ls o les persones que t'importen? Prova-ho de manera rutinària amb les persones que t'importen. Trobo que fer això m'ajuda a entendre millor els altres i a més a més m'obre el cor. Si escau, explica a l'altra persona el que has après; sentir un reconeixement de les bones intencions d'algú pot ser una experiència poderosa.
Intenta veure bones intencions en desconeguts que caminen pel carrer, o per un aeroport. Hi veuràs moltes cortesies, esforços per fer una bona feina, desitjos d'entendre o ser entès, lleialtat als amics i a les causes, joc net i amabilitats. Aquesta pràctica em fa feliç i em dóna un sentit més fort de la nostra humanitat comuna.
Prova-ho també amb persones que siguin difícils per a tu. Això no és per excusar-les. Però veure bones intencions enmig de mals comportaments pot, irònicament, ajudar-te a sentir-te menys afectat (menys estressat, irritat o preocupat) per altres persones. També podries demanar als altres que reconeguin les teves bones intencions.
Hi ha una brasa de santedat en cadascun de nosaltres, inclòs el que es mira al mirall. Reconèixer les bones intencions bufa en aquesta brasa, li afegeix combustible i l'ajuda a créixer en una flama càlida i bella.
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This is a great article and it is true that so many things we do in a day, or automatically are just to look after ourselves/others and we are all filled with good intentions/
Rabbi Moses Cordovero: "Remember all human beings always in the innocence of their infancy."
nice
article (technically)..but I surely see also the danger as pointed out by the
reply of Bei Yin. To ad also a critical but appreciating comment. It's not
entirely about the article but about it's base/ foundation. actually the first
sentence,, .'let our intentions be good.' What is good? what is intention? what
is the action (of letting be)? We write about it if intention and good are two
separate things. If there is a commonsense or common-consensus of 'good' and
the values that this contains and that intention is a thing we let
happen. Maybe it’s just me, and that is certainly the case, but I see things
this way; If one doesn’t dissociate oneself
from his or her intention and trains oneself to walk in line with this
intention we won’t have to spend energy in forging ourselves on terms like good
or intention. We wouldn’t have to spend any energy in creating world images of
good behavior and their fruits. Instead we would just create, we do every
moment. And the fact that there are billions of people around just means you
are not alone, make use of that instead of convicting it.
Thank you, Rick
Hanson for the article, Grenville Kleisser for the quote, Bei Yin for drawing
my attention to it, ‘dailygood’ for placing and distributing it on internet,
internet for the world wide context, and the world for creating this medium….special
thanks to creation (the action and the result….)
Just one
[Hide Full Comment]thing: If my intention is commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention? If my intention is not commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention?
Napoleon Hill wrote about how the tipping point of economic failure to economic recovery post great depression was based on the shift from a sense of service. Much like the man who handed you the cold bottle of water. It's that subtle a difference in giving consciousness that can change the world. Great post!
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones."
[Hide Full Comment](Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset. - But at least it might trigger some thoughts that are not just influenced by ones need for confirmation...
--- Or is this too much and so unwanted by the moderator?
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is
[Hide Full Comment]continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones." (Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a
society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset.
Thanks for the article!
Love this! Thank you.
So true, we see what we focus upon! thank you for the reminder.
The following sentence really made me think. "Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones!" Thank you!