공항을 허둥지둥 지나가다가 물을 사려고 멈췄다. 가게 냉장고에서 한 남자가 허리를 굽혀 병들을 넣고 있었다. 나는 그를 지나쳐 그가 넣어둔 병 하나를 꺼냈다. 그는 고개를 들고는 일을 멈추더니 다른 선반에서 병 하나를 꺼내 내게 건네며 "이거 차갑네요."라고 말했다. 나는 고맙다고 인사하고 그가 건넨 병을 받았다.
그는 나를 몰랐고 다시는 볼 수 없을 거라고 했다. 그의 일은 재고 관리였지 고객 서비스가 아니었다. 그는 바빴고 지쳐 보였다. 하지만 그는 내가 따뜻한 병을 받았다는 것을 알아차리고, 마음을 바꿔 차가운 병을 가져다주었다. 그는 내 건강을 기원했다.
일주일이 지난 지금 이 글을 쓰는 동안에도 그의 다정한 눈빛이 생생하게 떠오릅니다. 그저 물 한 병이었을 뿐인데 말이죠. 하지만 그의 친절함에 마음이 따뜻해지고, 그의 선한 의도에 힘이 납니다.
다른 사람의 긍정적인 의도를 인식할 때, 우리는 더 안전하고, 더 많은 지지를 받으며, 더 행복하다고 느낍니다. 그리고 다른 사람들이 당신이 그들의 좋은 의도를 이해한다고 느낄 때, 그들은 당신이 이해받고, 감사함을 느끼며, 당신을 더 잘 대할 의향이 더 강해집니다.
하지만 다른 사람의 호의를 알아보는 것은 어려울 수 있습니다. 우리는 바쁘고, 주의가 산만하고, 스트레스를 받습니다. 긍정적인 목표는 종종 부정적인 행동 아래에 묻혀 있습니다. 뇌의 선천적인 부정성 편향은 끊임없이 나쁜 소식이나 나쁜 의도를 탐색합니다. 뇌는 또한 새로운 것에 반응하기 때문에 일상생활에 스며든 많은 긍정적인 의도는 무시하고, 가끔씩 나타나는 부정적인 의도만 부각하는 경향이 있습니다.
그러니 적극적으로 선한 의도를 찾아야 합니다. 그러면 주변에서 그 의도를 발견할 수 있을 것입니다. 아무리 가려져 있더라도 모든 존재 안에 있는 깊은 선함을 들여다볼 수 있는 창문이 될 것입니다.
어떻게?
평범한 하루에 여러분이 품고 있는 많은 좋은 의도, 즉 목표, 목적, 욕망을 잠시 생각해 보세요.
좋은 의도는 성스러울 필요가 없습니다. 커피 한 잔을 즐기고, 제대로 된 아침을 먹고, 문을 잠그고, 정시에 출근하고, 양심적으로 살고, 안전함을 느끼고, 가족을 돌보고, 예의 바른 사람이 되고, 문제를 피하고, 덜 상처받고, 달콤한 것을 즐기고, 다투지 않고, 일출을 보기 위해 살아남고 싶은 것, 이 모든 것이 좋은 의도입니다.
대부분의 좋은 의도는 사소할 것입니다. 하지만 여전히 중요합니다. 좋은 의도를 나쁜 의도로 바꾼다면 얼마나 큰 재앙이 올지 상상해 보세요! 물론, 지배하고 싶은 욕망, 중독적인 욕망을 행동으로 옮기고 싶은 욕망, 또는 다른 사람에게 부정적인 감정을 쏟아붓고 싶은 욕망처럼 좋지 않은 의도도 있습니다. 하지만 거의 모든 사람에게 대부분의 의도는 좋은 것입니다. 자신이 좋은 의도를 가진 사람이라는 것을 몸으로 느끼고 강하게 느껴보세요.
친구와 이야기할 때, 그 사람의 긍정적인 의도를 파악하세요. 친구를 만나는 기분은 어떤가요? 소중한 사람들에게 이렇게 꾸준히 해 보세요. 저는 이렇게 하면 다른 사람을 더 잘 이해하고 마음이 열리는 것을 느낍니다. 상황에 따라 상대방에게 배운 것을 이야기해 보세요. 상대방의 좋은 의도를 알아주는 것은 매우 강력한 경험이 될 수 있습니다.
길거리나 공항에서 낯선 사람들에게서 좋은 의도를 발견해 보세요. 예의 바른 태도, 좋은 일을 하려는 노력, 이해하거나 이해받고자 하는 마음, 친구와 대의에 대한 충성심, 공정한 경쟁, 그리고 친절함을 많이 볼 수 있을 겁니다. 이런 행동은 저를 행복하게 만들고, 우리 모두의 공통된 인간성에 대한 더 강한 공감을 느끼게 해 줍니다.
당신에게 까다로운 사람들에게도 이렇게 해 보세요. 이 말이 그들을 변명하려는 것은 아닙니다. 하지만 아이러니하게도, 나쁜 행동 속에서도 좋은 의도를 발견하는 것은 다른 사람들로부터 받는 영향을 덜 받는 데 도움이 될 수 있습니다. 즉, 스트레스, 짜증, 걱정을 덜 느끼는 것입니다. 다른 사람들에게 당신의 좋은 의도를 알아봐 달라고 부탁할 수도 있습니다.
우리 각자 안에는 성스러움의 불씨가 하나씩 있습니다. 거울 속 자신을 바라보는 그 불씨도 마찬가지입니다. 선한 의도를 알아차리는 것은 그 불씨에 불을 붙여주고, 연료를 더해 따뜻하고 아름다운 불꽃으로 자라도록 돕습니다.
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This is a great article and it is true that so many things we do in a day, or automatically are just to look after ourselves/others and we are all filled with good intentions/
Rabbi Moses Cordovero: "Remember all human beings always in the innocence of their infancy."
nice
article (technically)..but I surely see also the danger as pointed out by the
reply of Bei Yin. To ad also a critical but appreciating comment. It's not
entirely about the article but about it's base/ foundation. actually the first
sentence,, .'let our intentions be good.' What is good? what is intention? what
is the action (of letting be)? We write about it if intention and good are two
separate things. If there is a commonsense or common-consensus of 'good' and
the values that this contains and that intention is a thing we let
happen. Maybe it’s just me, and that is certainly the case, but I see things
this way; If one doesn’t dissociate oneself
from his or her intention and trains oneself to walk in line with this
intention we won’t have to spend energy in forging ourselves on terms like good
or intention. We wouldn’t have to spend any energy in creating world images of
good behavior and their fruits. Instead we would just create, we do every
moment. And the fact that there are billions of people around just means you
are not alone, make use of that instead of convicting it.
Thank you, Rick
Hanson for the article, Grenville Kleisser for the quote, Bei Yin for drawing
my attention to it, ‘dailygood’ for placing and distributing it on internet,
internet for the world wide context, and the world for creating this medium….special
thanks to creation (the action and the result….)
Just one
[Hide Full Comment]thing: If my intention is commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention? If my intention is not commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention?
Napoleon Hill wrote about how the tipping point of economic failure to economic recovery post great depression was based on the shift from a sense of service. Much like the man who handed you the cold bottle of water. It's that subtle a difference in giving consciousness that can change the world. Great post!
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones."
[Hide Full Comment](Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset. - But at least it might trigger some thoughts that are not just influenced by ones need for confirmation...
--- Or is this too much and so unwanted by the moderator?
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is
[Hide Full Comment]continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones." (Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a
society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset.
Thanks for the article!
Love this! Thank you.
So true, we see what we focus upon! thank you for the reminder.
The following sentence really made me think. "Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones!" Thank you!