Kifo ni mshirika muhimu wa kuthamini maisha. Sirejelei kuhangaishwa na kifo. Badala yake, ninamaanisha ufahamu unaohisiwa wa ukomo wetu kama viumbe vya kimwili -- utambuzi wa uaminifu wa muda mfupi tunaopaswa kupenda na kujifunza katika dunia hii. Ujuzi kwamba miili yetu itakufa bila shaka huchoma kupitia viambatisho vyetu kwa wazimu wenye heshima wa kuwepo kwetu kwa jamii. Kifo ni rafiki anayetusaidia kuachilia kushikamana kwetu kwa cheo cha kijamii na mali kama chanzo cha usalama na utambulisho wa mwisho. Ufahamu wa kifo unatulazimisha kukabiliana na madhumuni na maana ya kuwepo kwetu, hapa na sasa.
Wale ambao wamepatwa na matukio ya karibu kufa wanathibitisha kwamba kufahamu kifo kunaweza kuwa rafiki asiyebadilika, na kutuwezesha kuwasiliana tena na kile ambacho ni muhimu zaidi. Hisia ya kawaida inayoonyeshwa na wengi walionusurika karibu na kifo ni kupungua kwa mkazo juu ya pesa na vitu vya kimwili na kuthamini zaidi asili na kupenda watu wengine. Dakt. Kenneth Ring, mtafiti wa matukio ya karibu kufa, amnukuu kijana mmoja ambaye alikaribia kufa baada ya kupata aksidenti mbaya ya gari. Matokeo yake kijana huyo aligundua kwamba alikuza "ufahamu kwamba kitu zaidi kilikuwa kikiendelea katika maisha kuliko sehemu yake ya kimwili tu ... Ilikuwa tu ufahamu kamili wa sio nyenzo tu na kiasi gani tunaweza kununua - kwa njia ya magari na vitu, au chakula au chochote. Kuna zaidi ya kuteketeza maisha. Kuna hatua ambapo unapaswa kutoa kwa hilo na hiyo ni muhimu sana."
Gandhi aliwahi kusema, "Kama vile mtu anapaswa kujifunza sanaa ya kuua katika mafunzo ya vurugu, vivyo hivyo lazima ajifunze sanaa ya kufa katika mafunzo ya kutofanya vurugu." Ikiwa tutaishi maisha yasiyo na jeuri na upendo, basi tunaweza kuanza kwa kukubaliana na kifo chetu wenyewe. Kuthamini kwamba lazima tufe hutuamsha kutoka kwa usingizi wetu wa kijamii na kwa ukweli wa hali yetu. Kifo ni mshirika asiyekata tamaa maishani -- uhakika usioepukika wa kusukuma dhidi yake tunapotatua muhimu kutoka kwa mambo madogo katika maisha yetu ya kila siku. Kuhusiana na hili, fikiria maneno ya Nadine Stair wa Louisville, Kentucky, ambaye alikuwa na umri wa miaka 85 alipoandika, "If I had My Life to Live Over":
Ningependa kufanya makosa zaidi wakati ujao. Ningepumzika. Napenda mguu juu. Ningekuwa mpumbavu kuliko nilivyokuwa safari hii. Ningechukulia mambo machache kwa uzito. Ningechukua nafasi zaidi. Ningepanda milima zaidi na kuogelea mito zaidi. Ningekula aiskrimu zaidi na maharagwe kidogo. Labda ningekuwa na shida zaidi, lakini ningekuwa na zile chache za kufikiria. . . . Nimekuwa mmoja wa watu ambao hawaendi popote bila kipimajoto, chupa ya maji ya moto, koti la mvua, na parachuti. Ikiwa ningelazimika kuifanya tena, ningesafiri nyepesi kuliko nilivyofanya.
Hatimaye, fikiria hekima kutoka kwa kitabu ambacho sasa kimesahauliwa kwa kiasi kikubwa, kilichoandikwa katika Marekani mwaka wa 1877. Katika kurasa zake za kumalizia “Njia ya Kifalme ya Uhai” inaeleza mtazamo juu ya uhai unaotokana na kuthamini kifo. Ingawa imeandikwa kwa mtindo wa ufasaha wa neema unaotokana na enzi ya awali, inazungumza wazi hata leo:
Hakuna ngono iliyoachwa, hakuna ruhusa ya umri. Barabara kuu na za kifalme ambazo wafalme hupita, njia ambayo watu wenye herufi huikanyaga, njia ambayo shujaa hupita, kumbukumbu fupi na rahisi za masikini, zote zinaelekea mahali pamoja, zote zinakomesha, hata hivyo, njia zao tofauti, katika nyumba hiyo moja kubwa ambayo imeteuliwa kwa wote wanaoishi. . . . Haijalishi ni nafasi gani ya heshima tunayoshikilia, sote tuko chini ya kifo. . . . Mtazamo unaofaa wa kifo unaweza kuwa na manufaa ili kukomesha tamaa nyingi zisizo za kawaida. Hivyo, kwa mfano, tunaweza kuona ubakhili huja kwenye jeneza la bahili; huyu ndiye mtu asiyeweza kutosheka na mali; lakini tazama sasa mbao chache zimemzunguka, na inchi chache za mraba zina yeye. . . Tazama matokeo ya kutokuwa na kiasi katika kaburi la mlafi; ona hamu yake ya kula sasa imeshiba kabisa, hisi zake zimeharibiwa na mifupa yake imetawanyika.
Ujumbe huu uko wazi. Hatuwezi kujificha kutokana na kifo. Kukumbatia kwake kutatumia maisha yetu ya kijamii kabisa. Vyeo vya kazi, nafasi ya kijamii, mali, majukumu ya ngono na picha--yote lazima yafikie kifo. Hii haimaanishi kwamba tunapaswa kuacha maisha yetu ya kimaada na kijamii. Badala yake, ina maana kwamba katika kuheshimu ukweli wa kifo chetu cha kimwili kwa uangalifu, kwa hivyo tunawezeshwa kupenya kupitia kujifanya kijamii, kujionyesha, na kuchanganyikiwa ambayo kwa kawaida huficha hisia zetu za kile ambacho ni muhimu kweli. Ufahamu wa kifo ni mshirika wa kuingiza maisha yetu na hisia ya haraka, mtazamo, na uwiano. Kwa kutambua uhalisi wa kifo, tunaweza kuthamini zaidi zawadi yetu ya uhai.
Ikiwa ungechagua kifo kama mshirika (kama ukumbusho wa thamani ya kila dakika), na ikiwa ungechagua ulimwengu kuwa makao yako (kama ukumbusho wa ukubwa wa ajabu wa kuwepo kwetu), je, ubora wa uhai, upesi, na msisimko ungeweza kuingiza maisha yako ya muda hadi wakati? Ikiwa ungejua kwamba ungekufa ndani ya saa au siku kadhaa, je, mambo rahisi zaidi yangekuwa na maana yenye kung'aa na yenye kupenya? Je, kila wakati ungekuwa wa thamani kupita kipimo chochote cha awali? Je, kila ua, kila mtu, kila ufa kando ya barabara, kila mti ungekuwa muujiza wa muda mfupi na usioweza kurudiwa tena? Urahisi wa kuishi husaidia kuleta aina hii ya uwazi na uthamini katika maisha yetu. Ni kwa njia zipi kuthamini kifo ni mwenzi anayesaidia katika maisha yako mwenyewe?
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Me, there is nothing after death but I am not going to buy crap from religious people that use the near death experience as a tool to prove that there is life after death, ja ja screw religion, it has been proved by science that particular experience is a natural response of our brain to make the end of our life more pleasant.
If we do not understand Death, we
will not understand Life. Don't die with the question. Die with the answer
-Osho
Excellent article. Embracing death as an ally 40 years ago helped me rise above a terrifying suicidal depression and mind-savaging anxiety. I didn't fully understand it, and still don't. But it has been a good strategy for me over these years. Indeed, this year has been tough. An already simple income down. Voluntary simplicity becoming involuntary simplicity (poverty) at times. Close friends moved away. Work sporadic. Depression never far away. I slid into "poor me" stories, toyed with the idea of ending it.
But last week the man who lives in the apartment above me attempted to take his own life. The landlord asked me to enter the apartment with him to do a check while the tenant was in the emergency ward. The detritus of his long night of the soul (and almost his last one) was shocking. Pills. Blood. Vomit. Stark reality!
Later, trying to process these events, I once again chose death as my ally. A friend to hover just above my right shoulder and keep me present, keep me open to the beauties and mysteries of life. No more toying with the idea of ending. A clear sense of how wonderful life is and what a challenge it is -- and a strong desire to own my own feelings and behaviour and to embrace that challenge with all I have to bring to it. Life is precious, and death is part of life. I believe it's best to strive to be fully alive, even as we embrace the ultimate fact of our death. To hide from death is to fear it, and worse, perhaps, to fear death and, seeking relief from life's difficulties, even pursue it.
[Hide Full Comment]A very true Article. In today's world of material hunger, the reminder that death is the real end will help us lead smarter lives and a better understanding of each moment.
Thank you so much for sharing the article..)
If you are (or want to be) doing research on how this psychology works, it behooves you and those who read your work -me- to address people who seek death along side those who embrace it's inevitability. It's not always as clear cut as taking people that do not want to live as being suicidal. Failure to thrive is a social disease that gets very frustrating for everyone while governments are footing the bills, but not addressing the ills.
There are a lot of people challenging death and a lot of people seeking it. Magnitudes more so than there are people that have been near it and live these exciting fulfilling life after near death lives.I hope to be more positive in the future as I write about what I'm doing to be part of the solution. I read Daily Good to feel good. I just felt overly compelled to make a note on the bottom of a barrage of nice sentiments where I think a huge reality is in need of discussion before I can feel good about death being around the corner. I've spent a great deal of my life wanting it to find me sooner rather than later.
[Hide Full Comment]We need such reminders of the Art of Living and the Art of Dying especially when the focus is more on search for anti-aging. We tend to forget the each day, each night, and each moment is worth living mindfully and fully and we all are mortal beings.
Jagdish P Dave