死亡是懂得珍惜生命的重要盟友。我指的并非对死亡的病态迷恋，而是指对自身作为肉体存在的有限性的切身感受——一种对我们在这世上爱与学习的时间短暂的诚实认知。我们终将面对肉体死亡的认知，会灼烧我们对社会建构的、看似体面却又疯狂的存在方式的执着。死亡是一位朋友，它帮助我们放下对社会地位和物质财富的执着，不再将它们视为最终的安全感和身份认同的来源。对死亡的觉察迫使我们直面当下存在的意义和目的。
那些有过濒死体验的人证实，对死亡的认知可以成为一位坚定的朋友，让我们重新与生命中最重要的事情建立联系。许多濒死体验幸存者都表达了一种共同的感受：他们不再那么看重金钱和物质，而是更加珍惜自然，更加爱他人。濒死体验研究者肯尼斯·林格博士引用了一位年轻人的经历，这位年轻人在一次严重的车祸后经历了濒死体验。结果，这位年轻人发现自己“意识到生命中除了物质层面之外，还有更深层次的东西……这是一种对物质的全面觉察，不再仅仅关注我们能买到多少东西——比如汽车、食物等等。生命不仅仅是消费。在某个时刻，你必须付出，这才是真正重要的。”
甘地曾说过：“正如在暴力训练中必须学习杀戮的艺术，在非暴力训练中也必须学习死亡的艺术。”如果我们想要过上非暴力且充满爱的生活，那么我们可以从坦然面对死亡开始。意识到我们终将一死，能让我们摆脱社会沉睡，认清现实。死亡是生命中一位坚定不移的伙伴——一个无法逃避的必然，我们需要与之抗争，才能在日常生活中分辨出哪些是重要，哪些是琐碎。在这方面，不妨思考一下肯塔基州路易斯维尔的纳丁·斯泰尔（Nadine Stair）的文字。她在85岁高龄时写下了《如果我的人生可以重来》（If I Had My Life to Live Back）：
下次我想多犯些错。我会放松下来，活动活动筋骨，比这次旅行更傻气一些。我会少把事情看得太重，多冒险一些。我会爬更多的山，游更多的河。我会多吃冰淇淋，少吃豆子。也许我会遇到更多实际的麻烦，但会少一些想象中的麻烦……我一直都是那种出门必带温度计、热水袋、雨衣和降落伞的人。如果让我再来一次，我会轻装上阵。
最后，不妨思考一下一本如今几乎被人遗忘的书籍中所蕴含的智慧。这本书写于1877年的美国，名为《人生的皇家之路》。在结尾部分，作者描述了一种源于对死亡的理解的人生观。尽管其文风优雅流畅，带有早期时代的印记，但即使在今天，它依然清晰易懂：
无论男女老幼，都难逃一死。君王走过的庄严大道，文人墨客的行路，武士的征途，穷人的简朴日记，最终都通向同一个地方，无论路径多么曲折，最终都会汇入那座为所有生灵预备的巨大殿堂……无论我们拥有多么尊贵的地位，最终都难逃一死……正确看待死亡或许有助于抑制大多数不理智的欲望。例如，我们可以看看吝啬鬼的棺材，看看贪婪最终会给他带来怎样的下场；这个人永远无法满足于财富；但如今，几块木板将他围住，几平方英寸的空间将他囚禁……再看看暴饮暴食者的坟墓，看看他如今的食欲已完全满足，感官已然丧失，骨骼已散落各处。
这些信息很明确：我们无法逃避死亡。死亡终将吞噬我们的社会生活。职业头衔、社会地位、物质财富、性别角色和形象——所有这一切都将臣服于死亡。但这并不意味着我们应该放弃物质和社会生活。相反，这意味着，当我们有意识地尊重肉体死亡的事实时，我们便能穿透社会虚伪、炫耀和迷茫，这些通常蒙蔽了我们对真正重要之物的感知。对死亡的觉察能赋予我们生命以紧迫感、远见和平衡感。当我们承认死亡的现实时，我们才能更充分地珍惜生命这份馈赠。
如果你选择死亡作为盟友（提醒自己每个瞬间的珍贵），如果你选择宇宙作为你的家园（提醒自己存在的宏伟壮丽），那么鲜活、即时和深刻的情感是否会自然而然地融入你的每一刻生活？如果你知道自己将在几个小时或几天内死去，最简单的事物是否会获得一种明亮而深刻的意义？每个瞬间是否会变得比以往任何时刻都更加珍贵？每一朵花、每一个人、人行道上的每一道裂缝、每一棵树是否会成为转瞬即逝、永不再来的奇迹？生活的简单有助于我们获得这种清晰的认知和感恩之心。那么，对死亡的感恩之心在你的生活中又扮演着怎样的角色呢？
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Me, there is nothing after death but I am not going to buy crap from religious people that use the near death experience as a tool to prove that there is life after death, ja ja screw religion, it has been proved by science that particular experience is a natural response of our brain to make the end of our life more pleasant.
If we do not understand Death, we
will not understand Life. Don't die with the question. Die with the answer
-Osho
Excellent article. Embracing death as an ally 40 years ago helped me rise above a terrifying suicidal depression and mind-savaging anxiety. I didn't fully understand it, and still don't. But it has been a good strategy for me over these years. Indeed, this year has been tough. An already simple income down. Voluntary simplicity becoming involuntary simplicity (poverty) at times. Close friends moved away. Work sporadic. Depression never far away. I slid into "poor me" stories, toyed with the idea of ending it.
But last week the man who lives in the apartment above me attempted to take his own life. The landlord asked me to enter the apartment with him to do a check while the tenant was in the emergency ward. The detritus of his long night of the soul (and almost his last one) was shocking. Pills. Blood. Vomit. Stark reality!
Later, trying to process these events, I once again chose death as my ally. A friend to hover just above my right shoulder and keep me present, keep me open to the beauties and mysteries of life. No more toying with the idea of ending. A clear sense of how wonderful life is and what a challenge it is -- and a strong desire to own my own feelings and behaviour and to embrace that challenge with all I have to bring to it. Life is precious, and death is part of life. I believe it's best to strive to be fully alive, even as we embrace the ultimate fact of our death. To hide from death is to fear it, and worse, perhaps, to fear death and, seeking relief from life's difficulties, even pursue it.
[Hide Full Comment]A very true Article. In today's world of material hunger, the reminder that death is the real end will help us lead smarter lives and a better understanding of each moment.
Thank you so much for sharing the article..)
If you are (or want to be) doing research on how this psychology works, it behooves you and those who read your work -me- to address people who seek death along side those who embrace it's inevitability. It's not always as clear cut as taking people that do not want to live as being suicidal. Failure to thrive is a social disease that gets very frustrating for everyone while governments are footing the bills, but not addressing the ills.
There are a lot of people challenging death and a lot of people seeking it. Magnitudes more so than there are people that have been near it and live these exciting fulfilling life after near death lives.I hope to be more positive in the future as I write about what I'm doing to be part of the solution. I read Daily Good to feel good. I just felt overly compelled to make a note on the bottom of a barrage of nice sentiments where I think a huge reality is in need of discussion before I can feel good about death being around the corner. I've spent a great deal of my life wanting it to find me sooner rather than later.
[Hide Full Comment]We need such reminders of the Art of Living and the Art of Dying especially when the focus is more on search for anti-aging. We tend to forget the each day, each night, and each moment is worth living mindfully and fully and we all are mortal beings.
Jagdish P Dave