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<div class="story-meta-left"> <div class="story-logo"> <a href="https://www.dailygood.org"> <img alt="DailyGood" src="https://www.karunanews.org/pics/90x90.jpg"> </a> </div> <div class="story-meta-info"> <div class="story-author">By <a href="/author?name=On%20Being">On Being</a></div> <div class="story-details"> <span class="story-date">Jan 15, 2019</span> <span class="story-read-time">7 min read</span> </div> <div class="story-source">Source: <a href="https://onbeing.org/programs/rachel-naomi-remen-the-difference-between-fixing-and-healing-nov2018/" target="_blank">onbeing.org</a></div> </div> </div>  <div class="story-meta-right">  <div class="utility-buttons"> <div class="dropdown"> <button class="utility-btn translate-btn dropdown-toggle py-1" type="button" id="translationDropdown" data-bs-toggle="dropdown" aria-expanded="false"> <i class="fa fa-language me-2" aria-hidden="true"></i>Swahili </button> <ul class="dropdown-menu dropdown-menu-end translation-dropdown" 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perm_post"> sehemu ya aibu ya hadithi hii ni kwamba niliamini hivi. Kwa miaka 15 iliyofuata, sikuwahi kuhoji hitimisho hili. Nadhani umakini mkubwa wa kisayansi unaweza kukufanya upofu.</p><p> MS. TIPPETT: Unafikiria nini sasa?</p><p> DR. REMEN: Nadhani hiyo ilikuwa moja ya matukio ya purist na siri ambayo nimewahi kupata katika maisha yangu. Inanifanya nijiulize sisi ni akina nani, nini kinawezekana kwetu, jinsi ulimwengu huu unavyofanya kazi kweli. Sina majibu, lakini nina maswali mengi, na maswali hayo yamenisaidia kuishi maisha bora kuliko majibu yoyote ninayoweza kupata.</p><p> [ <em>Muziki: “Hem” na Tvärvägen</em> ]</p><p> MS. TIPPETT: Mimi ni Krista Tippett na hii ni <em>On Being</em> . Leo na Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen.</p><p> MS. TIPPETT: Kitu ambacho nimepata kuvutia unapoandika kuhusu kufanya kazi na madaktari - unajaribu kuwafanya wastarehe na hasara na kuelewa kuwa kama sehemu ya kazi zao, maisha yao, maisha yao ya kufanya kazi. Lakini tena, unazungumzia waganga, lakini unaishia kufanya uchunguzi wa kuvutia ambao unatuhusu sisi sote, kuhusu hasara. Zungumza nami kuhusu ulichojifunza kuhusu hasara.</p><p> DR. REMEN: Naam, sasa tutaanzisha saa tano… [ <em>anacheka</em> ] Ndogo, Krista, ifanye ndogo. [ <em>anacheka</em> ]</p><p> MS. TIPPETT: Sawa, basi. Hii ndiyo sentensi niliyoandika: “Jinsi tunavyokabiliana na hasara hufanyiza uwezo wetu wa kuwepo maishani kuliko kitu kingine chochote. Namna tunavyojilinda kutokana na hasara inaweza kuwa njia ambayo tunajitenga na maisha.”</p><p> DR. REMEN: Nadhani hii ni sahihi kabisa.</p><p> MS. TIPPETT: Hilo ni wazo la kushtua sana, kwa kweli.</p><p> DR. REMEN: Nadhani ni sawa. Pia nadhani hakuna mtu anayestahiki na hasara. Kwa kuwa sisi ni utamaduni wa kiteknolojia, matakwa yetu au jibu letu la kwanza kwa hasara ni kujaribu na kulirekebisha. Tunapokuwa mbele ya hasara ambayo haiwezi kurekebishwa, ambayo ni hasara nyingi sana, tunahisi kutokuwa na msaada na kutokuwa na raha na tuna tabia ya kukimbia, kihemko au kwa kweli kujitenga. Na kurekebisha ni mkakati mdogo sana wa kukabiliana na hasara. Tunachowafundisha wanafunzi ni kitu rahisi sana.</p><p> MS. TIPPETT: Wanafunzi wa matibabu?</p><p> DR. KUMBUKA: Ndio. Tunawafundisha nguvu ya uwepo wao, ya kuwepo tu na kusikiliza na kushuhudia mtu mwingine na kujali hasara ya mtu mwingine, basi ni muhimu. Tunafanya saa sita juu ya hasara, vipindi viwili vya saa tatu, na wanafunzi wana maagizo rahisi sana, ambayo ni, wanaulizwa kukumbuka hadithi ya kupoteza kutoka kwa maisha yao wenyewe, na hasara - hebu tuweke tofauti - wakati ambapo mambo hayakuwa sawa, wakati walikata tamaa, walipopoteza ndoto au uhusiano au hata mwanachama wa familia, kifo.</p><p> Wanaweza kuchagua hilo, na kisha hutumia saa sita katika vikundi vidogo kuzungumza juu ya hasara yao. Na kikundi kina maagizo moja: Sikiliza kwa ukarimu. Sasa, kabla ya zoezi hili, tunafanya nao zoezi lingine ambapo tunawaomba kukumbuka wakati wa kukata tamaa na kupoteza na kukumbuka mtu aliyewasaidia. Mtu huyo alifanya nini? Walisema nini? Je, ni ujumbe gani ambao ulikuwa wa manufaa kwao katika wakati mgumu maishani mwao? Na wanaandika mambo haya kwa uthabiti sana. Kisha tunawaomba wakumbuke wakati wa hasara katika maisha yao na kukumbuka mtu ambaye alitaka kuwasaidia lakini hakuwa na msaada kwao. Mtu huyo alifanya nini na kusema nini, na alitoa ujumbe gani, na aliwasilishaje ujumbe huo? Na wanaandika hivyo.</p><p> Na kisha tunatengeneza orodha kubwa. "Ni mambo gani yote yaliyosaidia?" "Alinisikiliza kwa muda mrefu niliohitaji kuzungumza." "Walizungumza nami kwa njia ile ile baada ya kupotea kwangu kama walivyozungumza kabla ya kupotea kwangu." "Kaa na mimi." "Ilinigusa." "Niletee chakula." Ni mambo gani ambayo hayakusaidia? "Nipe ushauri bila kujua habari kamili." "Ilinifanya nihisi kwamba hasara ilikuwa kosa langu." Kwa hivyo tunakusanya hekima kuhusu kinachosaidia hasara kuponya kutoka kwa kikundi cha wanafunzi na kitivo mia moja, na yote ni mambo rahisi sana. Na maagizo pekee ni: Sikiliza kwa ukarimu.</p><p> MS. TIPPETT: Tena, inanirudisha nyuma kwa jinsi tulivyoanza kuzungumza juu ya nguvu ya hadithi katika maisha ya wanadamu, na mlinganisho wako kwamba hadithi ni nyama tuliyoweka kwenye mifupa ya ukweli juu ya maisha yetu. Nadhani ni nguvu sana kufikiria tu juu ya ukweli huu ulio wazi, lakini tena moja ya ukweli huu wazi ambao hatuitaji mara nyingi sana, hasara hiyo sio kifo cha janga tu. Kuna aina nyingi tofauti za hasara katika maisha yetu kila wakati, na kisha aina hii ya wazo la kushangaza ambalo unaleta kwamba jinsi tunavyoshughulika na hasara hizo, kubwa na ndogo, inaweza kusaidia au kupata njia ya jinsi tunavyoshughulika na maisha yetu yote, na kile tulicho nacho. Sio tu kile tulichopoteza.</p><p> DR. REMIN: Nadhani hii ni hivyo. Ninafanya kweli. Je, ninaiwekaje hii? Watu wengi hujaribu kushikilia kitu ambacho si sehemu ya maisha yao tena, na wanajizuia katika maisha yao kwa njia hiyo. Nimekuja kuona hasara kama hatua katika mchakato. Sio msingi. Sio mwisho wa hadithi. Kinachotokea baadaye ni muhimu sana. Na watu hujibu hasara kwa njia tofauti. Nilipougua mara ya kwanza, nilikasirika. Nilichukia watu wote vizuri. Nilihisi kuwa mimi ni mwathirika na hii haikuwa haki. Nilikuwa na hasira kwa takriban miaka 10. Nadhani hasira zote hizo zilikuwa nia yangu ya kuishi nikionyeshwa kwa njia mbaya sana.</p><p> Mara nyingi watu huwa na hasira katika mazingira ya hasara mbaya. Mara nyingi huwaonea wivu watu wengine, na hapa ni mahali pa kuanzia. Lakini baada ya muda mambo yanabadilika na kubadilika. Na angalau, watu ambao wamepoteza mengi wanaweza kutambua kwamba wao si waathirika, ni waathirika. Ni watu ambao wamepata nguvu ya kusonga mbele kwa jambo lisilofikiriwa kwao, labda, katika siku za nyuma. Na kuwauliza tu watu swali hilo: "Umepata hasara kubwa sana. Umeomba nini kwa nguvu zako?" Watu wengi hata hawajaona nguvu zao. Wanazingatia kabisa maumivu yao.</p><p> MS. TIPPETT: Juu ya hasara yao.</p><p> DR. REEN: Juu ya maumivu yao. Na hiyo si ya asili, Krista?</p><p> MS. TIPPETT: Kuna jambo la kutumainia sana katika uandishi wako, hata kama ni kuhusu hasara na upande mgumu, wa giza wa kuwa binadamu. Ninamaanisha, unasisitiza - na sina uhakika kwamba magonjwa ya akili ya kisasa yanasisitiza juu ya hili - kwamba uadilifu unaweza kufikiwa kwa kila mtu, kwamba unaona unakuja kwa watu, na wakati mwingine huja kwa watu katika shida. Unasema uzima haupotei kamwe, unasahaulika tu.</p><p> DR. KUMBUKA: Ukamilifu unajumuisha majeraha yetu yote. Inajumuisha udhaifu wetu wote. Ni ubinafsi wetu halisi, na hauketi katika hukumu juu ya majeraha yetu au udhaifu wetu. Inasema kwa urahisi, "Hii ndiyo njia tunayounganisha sisi kwa sisi." Mara nyingi tunaungana kupitia majeraha yetu, kupitia hekima ambayo tumepata, ukuaji ambao umetutokea. Kwa sababu tumejeruhiwa inaturuhusu kuwa msaada kwa watu wengine. Kwa hivyo sio hukumu ya maadili. Uadilifu unamaanisha tu kile ambacho ni kweli, kuishi kutoka kwenye nafasi ndani yako ambayo ina ukweli mkuu zaidi. Na ukweli huo daima unabadilika.</p><p> [ <em>Muziki: “Alfajiri” na Jacob Montague</em> ]</p><p> MS. TIPPETT: Rachel Naomi Remen ni mwanzilishi wa Taasisi ya Remen ya Utafiti wa Afya na Ugonjwa, profesa wa kliniki wa dawa za familia katika Shule ya Tiba ya UCSF na profesa wa dawa za familia katika Shule ya Tiba ya Boonshoft katika Chuo Kikuu cha Wright State. Vitabu vyake avipendavyo ni pamoja na <em>Kitchen Table Wisdom</em> na <em>Baraka za Babu yangu</em> .</p><p> WAFANYAKAZI: On <em>Being</em> ni Chris Heagle, Lily Percy, Mariah Helgeson, Maia Tarrell, Marie Sambilay, Erinn Farrell, Laurén Dørdal, Tony Liu, Bethany Iverson, Erin Colasacco, Kristin Lin, Profit Idowu, Casper ter Kuile, Angie Philliple Thurstonz, Sudie Phillipe Johnson, Liu Phillipe Johnson Damon Lee, Suzette Burley, na Katie Gordon.</p><p> MS. TIPPETT: Na katika siku hizi karibu na Shukrani, pia tuna utamaduni wa kuwashukuru watu wote wanaofanya <em>On Being</em> iwezekanavyo nyuma ya pazia. Wao ni pamoja na:</p><p> Heather Wang, mwandishi wetu; Brian Carmody, kiungo chetu cha habari; Tom Fletcher, Jim Hessian, na timu ya Two Betty's, washirika katika nafasi yetu ya Loring Park; Jerry Colonna na watu wa ajabu katika Reboot. Kristin Jones Pierre na timu yake katika Faegre Baker Daniels. Heidi Grinde, Mary Warner, Hannah Ericksen, Michele Wagman, na washirika wetu katika Clifton Larson Allen, na wanachama wetu wa bodi wanaoondoka Julie Zelle na Jeffrey Walker.</p><p> [ <em>Muziki: “Wakati” na City of the Sun</em> ]</p><p> Pia tunashukuru sana kwa Micah Thor, Joe Kessler, na watu wa Tech Guru; Emily Oberman na washirika wetu wa kubuni nyota katika Pentagram; Tito Bottitta, Emily Theis, Andy Rader, Holly Copeland, Nick Braica, na wote wa timu huko Upstatement; Keith Yamashita, na watu wa SY Partners; na PRX - Soko la Redio ya Umma - ikiwa ni pamoja na Kerri Hoffman, John Barth, Kathleen Unwin, Sean Nesbitt, Andrew Kuklewicz, na Paloma Orozco.</p><p> Shukrani za pekee kwa 1440 Multiversity na watu wote waliotuma maombi, kuhudhuria, au kufurahia rekodi zetu kutoka The On Being Gathering - jumuiya inayoendelea na nishati ambayo ilikuwa furaha mahususi mwaka huu uliopita.</p><p> Pia tulibahatika kushirikiana na mashirika mbalimbali ya ajabu ikiwa ni pamoja na Wakfu wa Obama, Muungano wa Marekebisho ya Kiyahudi, Chuo Kikuu cha Montana–Missoula na Redio ya Umma ya Montana, Makumbusho ya Makumbusho ya Holocaust ya Marekani, ArtReach St. Croix, B'Nai Jeshurun, Women Moving Millions, St. Paul Chamber Judaism, The Orange County Orchestra Orchestra, Tamasha la Okestra la Orangeet la Tamasha la Tamasha la Dodine, Tamasha la Tamasha la Orangeet la Dodine Mtandao wa Uandishi wa Habari, na Tamasha la Podcast la Wanawake la WNYC Studios' Werk It Women.</p><p> [ <em>muziki: “Kila kitu” na City of the Sun</em> ]</p><p> Na mwisho baraza letu pendwa la hekima, Jay Cowles na Konda Mason. Asante.</p><p> Muziki wetu wa mandhari ya kupendeza umetolewa na kutungwa na Zoë Keating. Na sauti ya mwisho ambayo unasikia ikiimba sifa zetu za mwisho katika kila onyesho ni msanii wa hip-hop Lizzo.</p><p> <em>On Being</em> iliundwa katika American Public Media. Washirika wetu wa ufadhili ni pamoja na:</p><p> Taasisi ya Fetzer, kusaidia kujenga msingi wa kiroho kwa ulimwengu wenye upendo. Wapate kwenye fetzer.org.</p><p> Kalliopeia Foundation, inajitahidi kuunda siku zijazo ambapo maadili ya kiroho ya ulimwengu wote huunda msingi wa jinsi tunavyotunza nyumba yetu ya kawaida.</p><p> Humanity United, kuendeleza utu wa binadamu nyumbani na duniani kote. 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}</script> <h3 class="h5 pb-2 section-header mt-5"> <i class="bi bi-people text-success"></i> <span>1 PAST RESPONSES</span> <hr> </h3> <div id="cmtlist" class="mt-4"> <div class="comment-item" id="cmt_7937"> <div class="comment-container"> <div class="comment-avatar"> <img src="https://pod.servicespace.org/pics/mem/blank.jpg" alt="User avatar"> </div> <div class="comment-content-wrapper"> <div class="comment-meta"> <span class="comment-author">Patrick Watters</span> <span class="comment-date">Jan 15, 2019</span> <a href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/2207/-iframe-frameborder-no-height-300-scrolling-no-src-https-w-soundcloud-com-player-url-https-3a-api-soundcloud-com-tracks-533017170-and-color-23ff5500-and-auto-play-false-and-hide-related-false-and-show-comments-true-and-show-user-true-and-show-on-being/?t=showComment&cid=7937" class="ms-auto link-icon text-muted"><i class='fa fa-link'></i></a> </div> <div class="comment-content"> <p>Wise spiritual leaders (sages) know the truth of the true self and that too of the “wounded healer” (Nouwen). }:- 💔~❤️ anonemoose monk</p> </div> <div class="comment-actions"> <a href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/2207/-iframe-frameborder-no-height-300-scrolling-no-src-https-w-soundcloud-com-player-url-https-3a-api-soundcloud-com-tracks-533017170-and-color-23ff5500-and-auto-play-false-and-hide-related-false-and-show-comments-true-and-show-user-true-and-show-on-being/?t=showComment&cid=7937#addcomment" class="reply-link" data-cmt-id="7937" data-cmt-author="Patrick Watters"><i class="bi bi-reply"></i> Reply</a> <span class="btn-light post_btn small"></span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <script> $(document).ready(function() { // Toggle between short and full comments $('.see_full_cmt').on('click', function(e) { e.preventDefault(); 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