Back to Stories

出口匝道上的偶遇

周六早上,在繁忙的高速公路出口匝道上,站着一个人。他弓着背,双脚焦躁不安地摇晃着,几乎带着痛苦的神情,任何路人都会意识到,这个人已经在这里待了很久,似乎在乞讨捐款。这原本可能是当天又一件无关紧要的小事,很快就会被人遗忘,但站在那里的那个人——那就是我……

作为一家电影制片厂的开发主管,我很幸运能在一家优秀的公司工作,身边都是才华横溢的人。我们制作电影,制作全世界都想看的电影(至少这是我们的目标)。我的生活有薪水、有房子、有车,还有爱我、在任何情况下都能依靠的人。

我最大的恐惧是失去观察、沟通和与周围世界保持联系的能力。如果这种情况发生,我将无法做我最热爱的事情:讲故事。能够带领观众进入前所未见的世界,或者跟随那些几乎没有救赎希望的角色,就像是在探索人类奥秘的地图上作画。而所有好故事的精髓是什么?是不同的视角。

我下班时,通常会从101号高速公路的劳雷尔峡谷出口下高速。那是洛杉矶最繁忙的十字路口之一,有四个入口和出口匝道。每个匝道都有三条车道的车流一直堵到高速公路上——大概有25辆车左右。经常会有人在出口处乞讨,希望能从拥堵的车流中得到一些钱。如果我离他们足够近,我会从钱包里掏出一些钞票,在开车经过他们身边时给他们一些,然后继续我的夜晚娱乐之旅。

随着这种情况越来越频繁地发生——出口处的那个人,我驾驶着我那座自以为是的小堡垒缓缓驶过——我开始反思,我的人生是不是也以同样的方式匆匆而过。我是否一直待在自己的泡沫里,等待着下一个诱惑,却错过了这一切的意义?当我满脑子想着即将到来的夜晚,想着如何结交下一个盟友,或者想着在酒宴中忘却白天的烦恼时,或许我苦苦追寻的东西正悄然从我身边溜走。或者更确切地说,我只是忙着匆匆而过。人们常说,一个瞬间可以永存。但如果我只是匆匆而过,它便不会如此。

一天早晨,我正在准备出门,突然灵光一闪,想去出口匝道站在那里。这念头并非凭空出现,而是像晴天霹雳般击中了我。我立刻列举出几十个理由,说明我绝对不会这么做。但这种顿悟一旦扎根于我的脑海,便会像阴影般笼罩着我试图逃避的每一个神经通路。它像最初面对失去、选择错误而非正确所带来的后果,或是坠入爱河时那样,在我心中翻腾——我们越是试图否认,它就越是强大。

那天午休时间,我去了伯班克一家二手店。店里挤满了衣服和人——看起来都有些破旧。人们在成排的衣架间穿梭,仔细查看挂在绳子上的白色价格标签。我旁边,一个六岁的小女孩央求她年轻的妈妈给她买一件粉色T恤,但妈妈摇了摇头,说买不起。我排了很长的队才买到东西:一件男士T恤1.99美元,一件法兰绒衬衫3.99美元,还有一条裤子4.99美元。给我结账的店员戴着塑料手套,好像触摸那些从店里进出的破旧衣物会让她感到不适似的。

6月8日星期六,我穿上从旧货店淘来的那几件旧衣服,然后站在101号高速公路劳雷尔峡谷出口匝道旁。我手里拿着一块纸板,上面写着:“请您稍等片刻,感谢您的祝福。”加州刑法典第647c条规定,“乞讨”属于轻罪,因此我请求的是“祝福”而不是金钱。我不知道如果警察来了会发生什么。

就在我之前看到那些人执行既定判决的地方,现在我也举起了自己的牌子,做好心理准备,迎接迎面而来的车辆。烈日当空,刺眼的阳光让世界黯然失色。羞愧难当,我的喉咙也干涩难耐。所有人都会注意到我。他们会对我评头论足。

但没有人看我。没有人看我。我站在那里,仿佛不存在。身处世界之中,却又彻底孤立。所有熟悉的事物,此刻都因我身处这个角落而彻底改变。我本可以随时回家,然而,这个地方却向我宣告:在无数个现实中,我们如此接近,却又如此遥远……

三条车道上密密麻麻的车流在红灯前缓缓停了下来。我屏住呼吸,目光扫过司机们的脸……仿佛地球旋转了几度,无情地倾斜着我平日里自信前行的轴线。我看到一扇车窗摇了下来,一张一美元的钞票从车里掏了出来。是一位二十多岁的年轻女子。我慢慢走过去,接过钞票,轻声道谢,然后回到原位。等待。等待令人煎熬。又三条车道的车流向我驶来。就这样,一遍又一遍地重复着。

我没有走到那些坐在车里的人跟前,只是站在那里。然而,很明显,人们对我在出口匝道上的出现感到非常不自在。在我旁边的车道上,第一辆车总是会稍微靠前一点,甚至会驶入对向车道,以免与我并排。而紧随其后的第二辆车则会至少保持一个车身的距离。他们竭力避免与我目光接触。我无法揣测其他司机的想法,但可以肯定的是,紧挨着我行驶让他们感到不安全。

我学会了留意摇下的车窗。有趣的是,人们很快就能掌握拐角处的规矩。谁曾想过,一个出口匝道竟也拥有其独特的内在意义?当我站在这里时,所有关于他人生活方式的先入为主的观念都烟消云散了。

突然间,我对那些选择生存下去的人的勇气和力量充满了深深的敬意。直到此刻,我才真正体会到哪怕是最微小的善意之举所蕴含的巨大力量。我从未像现在这样感激过那些偶尔有人与我对视、报以微笑的时刻。

捐赠的物品不多,但男女老少都慷慨解囊。不止一个开着工作车的家伙掏出零钱。一个英俊的小伙子把钞票递给我,就像我是他的好朋友一样。还有一个很酷的家伙,正坐在车里听着摇滚乐,也捐了钱,或许是因为这天心情正好如此。我开车在车道间穿梭,准备回到自己的停车位时,注意到他车尾的贴纸上写着“精神黑帮”。我不禁好奇他平时都听些什么。一位女士递给我三根营养棒和一本关于基督教的小册子。另一辆坐满孩子的SUV从后座递给我一包椒盐卷饼。一位男士直指着我,用力摇晃着手指。两个女孩盯着我看了好一会儿,互相说了些什么,然后哈哈大笑起来。如果我换个角度来看,或许可以把所有这些都看作是一种捐赠。

至于那些根本没看我一眼的人,我开始思考,为什么我们需要如此渴望被保护?为什么与处境不如我们的人进行眼神交流如此困难?为什么仅仅是看一眼就如此令人恐惧?我们把自己锁在堡垒里,把所有出口都紧紧封死。仿佛这样就能确保你夜夜安枕,外界的危险都被牢牢地挡在外面。我们永远不必忍受不适。我们的汽车、房子、办公室都具备这些特质。但是,仔细想想,棺材不也一样吗?

或许,真正可怕的并非仅仅是观看,而是观看之后却又移开视线。这提醒我们,即便我们自诩拥有各种能力,有时也依然无力改变现状。如果我们移开视线,这是否就如同我们自己举着一块写着“我已放弃”的牌子?或许,对某些人来说并非如此。或许,真正令人畏惧的问题是:“我该从何开始?” 经历了出口匝道上的那番遭遇后,我会回答:一切始于微笑。善意至关重要。而努力理解,正是我们伸出援手的体现。如果我们的财富以理解的积累来衡量,那将会是怎样一番景象?这会对全球经济产生怎样的影响?好吧,诚然,这只是一个并不存在的社会,一个极不可能实现、甚至近乎荒谬的想法。或许我们可以以此为题材,拍一部科幻电影。讲述我们自己的故事。我希望它会很精彩。

周一晚上,我开车回家,临近劳雷尔峡谷出口匝道时,心中一阵忐忑。车子驶上山顶,果然看到一个人站在那里。是一位老妇人,长长的白发,佝偻着身子,举着一块牌子。这两种截然不同的视角同时出现,形成了鲜明的对比。但两者都无所谓对错,只是不同而已。这一次,我没有选择视而不见。我无法假装自己能解答上面所有的问题,也无法假装自己对人性的复杂了如指掌。但我知道,我想看看那些黑暗的角落和难以触及的地方,打开那些紧闭的窗户,逆行到单行道的尽头,承认自己的恐惧,然后许下一些不可能实现的愿望。

Share this story:

COMMUNITY REFLECTIONS

12 PAST RESPONSES

User avatar
Paul Aug 21, 2013

I recently began a Facebook group that I am hoping will become more of a movement, where kindness is done to spread more kindness. this story fits exactly to what I am trying to say with my group itself. I am sharing the link to your story on my group's page for my members to read. hopefully it will inspire! Thank you! my group is open to all, it is called H.E.A.L.

User avatar
michael-leonard Aug 12, 2013

"...it was certain that pulling up right next to me violated their sense of safety."
I don't think it's safety, as in fear; more like sense of security, as in their selves.
What I always feel when I see homeless and less-fortunate is: There but for the grace of god (or fate, or...) go you or I. I often donate what I can to these folk.

User avatar
rhonda_relative Aug 12, 2013

Thank you for caring enough to 1. know what the person who is standing on the corner feels like. Having the realization that a smile in those circumstances help out immensely and more than anything.....Taking a few minutes to care about your neighbors......

User avatar
Arun Chikkop Aug 7, 2013

My dear brother.. whatever you did requires a lot of courage. I loved the lines: the scariest part may be is not to look. But to look and then look away.
Thank You so much for the wonderful article ans the courage.
Thanks dailygood team for the wonderful share.

User avatar
Kbg351 Aug 6, 2013

Wow...............touched me....
.

User avatar
Ebeth Aug 5, 2013

people who are sick or have a disability are treated the same way...only a small percentage can look.

User avatar
Kerrica Aug 5, 2013

Thank you for a wonderful article. I read it yesterday and forwarded it to several and today, by coincidence, I came upon this article (have not yet viewed the video) but the article addresses "Spiritual Gangster" again! I thought it was such a coincidence and that you might be interested. :)

http://www.dailycupofyoga.c...

User avatar
Rashmi Chaudhry Aug 5, 2013

What a story! I sat reading through it having goose bumps and smiling. Rare combination of simultaneous emotions. Love you for that inspired idea, the courage to follow it through, and then to crystallise and share it. It all comes from love of humanity and amounts to service to humanity. Bless you!

User avatar
Sheryl Aug 4, 2013

Thank you for putting yourself out there in someone else's shoes when you didn't have to. It makes all the difference. I wish everyone had the courage to do what you did.

User avatar
Kristin Pedemonti Aug 4, 2013

See the Human Being. Thank you for seeing and Being HUMAN and opening your Heart. I Hug homeless people as often as I can. I ALWAYS acknowledge with a smile and eye contact. Just that one tiny gesture can make a connection. When someone whispers to you as you hug them, "thank you, I haven't been touched in nearly 20 years," it stays with you forever. HUG from my heart to yours.

User avatar
maggie Aug 4, 2013

So many people ask, "But what "should" I do?" ....a smile, a handshake, a look into my eyes ~ acknowledge that you see me

User avatar
Jacqui Aug 4, 2013

Thank you for your wonderful article - how honest and refreshing. We are all much nearer to the possibility of destitution that we would like to admit, may be that is one of the many reasons for the fear that homelessness and poverty invokes in us? I was homeless on and off for much of my teenage and adult life, it's a very lonely, dangerous and unforgiving existence that is incredibly difficult to break free from. I was very lucky - I now live a very middle class lifestyle and have a very rewarding life. Please always consider the feelings of those less fortunate than yourself - treating people with kindness and dignity costs nothing but means everything.