Gauzak Mintzen Uzteko Ekintza Erradikala

Aug 13, 2023

"Dolua kontrolatu edo aurreikusi ezin den energia indar bat da", islatu zuen Elizabeth Gilbertek bere bizitzako maitasuna galtzearen harira. "Doluak ez ditu zure planak, edo zure nahiak betetzen. Doluak nahi duena egingo dizu, nahi duenean. Zentzu horretan, Doluak Maitasunarekin komunean asko ditu".

Maitasuna bezala, atsekabea barruko unibertso oso batean hazten da, kanpoko mundu osoa koloreztatzen datorrena. Maitasuna bezala —gure espezieak ekoitzi dituen abesti eta olerki eta koadro gehienen lehengai txundigarri hori— doluaren bidez bizi da dolua eta ezin du bere egia esan. Maitasunak ez bezala, gure kulturak atsekabearen ahotsa ezinegona eta ukazioaren aleazio batekin egiten du topo. Tristura alde egin nahi dugu, bihotz mingarria bere saminetik berehala altxatu. Askotan, porrot pertsonalarekin nahasten dugu beste baten atsekabea salbatzeko ezintasuna edo hutsegitearekin gure nahien denbora-lerroan ateratzeko ezintasuna.

Sandol Stoddard-en I Like You- ren Jacqueline Chwast-en artea - adiskidetasunaren aldeko serenata vintage bat.

Megan Devine psikoterapeutak - Refuge in Grief baliabide bikainaren sortzailea etaIt's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand ( liburutegi publikoa ) - bere bikote gazte eta osasuntsua itotzen ikusi zuenean, bat-bateko eta zentzugabeko galerak bere mundua eten zuen. Poliki-poliki bizitzaren indarra berreskuratzen zuen heinean, adimen emozionala eta erresilientzia aztertzeko bere esperientzia profesionala birbideratzen hasi zen doluaren prozesu nahasgarria eta guztiz kontsumitzailea hobeto ulertzera, zeinaren bidez, Abraham Lincolnek bere lagun minari egindako kontsolamendu gutun ikaragarri argigarrian idatzi zuen bezala, galeraren agonia zure bihotzean poliki-poliki sentimendu gozoago bihurtzen da. aurretik ezagutu izan”; Transmutazio bat, non laguntza maitasun trebeak mundu bat aldea eragin dezakeen - laguntzak instintiboki imajinatzen dugunaren oso desberdina laguntzen du.

Nadine Robert- *en The Shadow Elephant* -eko Valerio Vidaliren artea - gure tristurak argitzeko benetan behar denari buruzko meditazio sotila.

Jendeak atsekabe bizian nola nabigatzen duen aztertzean - maiteak delitu bortitzak, suizidioak, hondamendiak, haurren heriotzak eta beste trauma hondamendi bortitzak eraginda - Devine-k ikuspegi harrigarri batera iritsi zen. Behin eta berriz, ohartu zen gure bulkada intuitiboenak beren sufrimendua baretu nahi dugun horiei laguntzeko - haiek alaituz, iluntasunean beren bizitzako itsasargietara bideratuz - haien ezintasun larritasuna sakondu eta gure eta haien arteko amildegia zabaltzen besterik ez dutela egiten. Orduan, galdetzen hasi zen zerk salbatzen duen munduan aurkitzen dugun eta gure bizitzan bizi dugun samina izugarria.

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Carter Aug 15, 2023

This brief skit on grief brings me back to one key aspect that always resonates with me: to listen; to listen to someone no matter what the circumstances are: someone hurt, mourning a loved one, indecisive, etc. We don't need to solve everyone's issues or problem: just listen.

Elizabeth Landers Aug 14, 2023

This is hard for me to practice. My brain has been patterned to fix it. It takes awareness & energy to let it be, ro accompany the other in pain. Thanks for your study & this insight that you reframed for me.

Jagannatha Das Aug 14, 2023

Acknowledging grief and pain as a way to ease them seems totally counter-intuitive. However, just like other emotion such as anger and frustration, denying grief and pain of loss usually do not get rid of them. On the contrary, feeling and emotions that were not allowed expression tend to grow and intensify even more. The body and the psyche seem to know what is essential for us at the moment of grief and pain of loss - a quiet time to be in and really allow the moment to work with us internally. The recollection of shared memories. The altered future expectations and dreams and aspirations. The contemplation of what could be in the afterlife. Reconsideration of our priorities and essentials. Eventually, acceptance of what we could no longer change. And the gratitude of what we‘ve shared and what we still have.

Kristin Pedemonti Aug 13, 2023

Thank you for this reminder that it is definitely OK to not be OK. And for those supporting someone grieving to sit in the not ok with that person too. <3 As a Narrative Therapist, 1000% agree with honoring and acknowledging the many layers of grief and that it takes the time it takes. One aspect of Narrative Practices I particularly think is helpful is the idea of 're-membering' rather than 'moving on or forgetting.' Re-membering provides opportunities for the person grieving to speak about the person (or pet) that died and to choose how to keep them alive in their life rather than 'moving on' which US culture seems to push hard on people. An example of Re-membering is: a man keeps the photograph of his wife to whom he was married 50 years at her spot at their kitchen table and each morning he has coffee with her. This is beautiful and healthy. Many people are far too quick to say to someone grieving 'oh, you must move on.'

Reply 1 reply: Jagannatha

Jagannatha Das Aug 14, 2023

Thanks for your insights. Re-membering instead of simply moving on. Not letting go; instead reinforcing the past connections and shared instances. Keep them „alive“ in our memories. Surely there will be some regrets, too. The acceptance of what is will come. Later. Much later. Moving on does not mean forgetting completely.

Patrick Aug 13, 2023

The timeless, even eternal, truth of the wounded healer, exemplified especially in the one called Jesus of Nazareth, incarnate Christ of Divine LOVE (God by any other name we humans choose).

Kathleen Kler Aug 13, 2023

It is a challenge to our own heart to step into our sadness --which we need to do before we can sit quietly with another's. It is an acknowledgement that there is much outside our control; that this loss was not within our power to prevent or change, And feeling powerless drives us to try and fix, fill the hole with platitudes or bravado. Instead, the void waits for us to discover our strength to face the shadows.Walking with the darkness of loss and grief is the way, the only way to fully exist in this bittersweet world of both life and death.

Vijay Deshmukh Aug 13, 2023

It's a good learning in life long.