Back to Stories

<div class="story-meta-left"> <div class="story-logo"> <a href="https://www.dailygood.org"> <img alt="DailyGood" src="https://www.karunanews.org/pics/90x90.jpg"> </a> </div> <div class="story-meta-info"> <div class="story-author">By <a href="/author?name=On%20Being">On Being</a></div> <div class="story-details"> <span class="story-date">Jun 29, 2016</span> <span class="story-read-time">19 min read</span> </div> <div class="story-source">Source: <a href="http://www.onbeing.org/program/body039s-grace-matthew-sanford039s-story/transcript/4531" target="_blank">onbeing.org</a></div> </div> </div>  <div class="story-meta-right">  <div class="utility-buttons"> <div class="dropdown"> <button class="utility-btn translate-btn dropdown-toggle py-1" type="button" id="translationDropdown" data-bs-toggle="dropdown" aria-expanded="false"> <i class="fa fa-language me-2" aria-hidden="true"></i>Cherokee </button> <ul class="dropdown-menu dropdown-menu-end translation-dropdown" aria-labelledby="translationDropdown" style="max-height: 400px; overflow-y: auto;"> <li class="dropdown-header" style="font-size: 11px; color: #6c757d; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 0.5px;"> <i class="fa fa-globe me-1"></i>Available Languages </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/"> English </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=am"> Amharic </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=ar"> Arabic </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=eu"> Basque </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=bn"> Bengali </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=bg"> Bulgarian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=ca"> Catalan </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item active" href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=chr"> Cherokee </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=zh-CN"> Chinese (PRC) </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=hr"> Croatian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=cs"> Czech </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=da"> Danish </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=nl"> Dutch </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=et"> Estonian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=fil"> Filipino </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=fi"> Finnish </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=fr"> French </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=de"> German </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=el"> Greek </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=gu"> Gujarati </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=iw"> Hebrew </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=hi"> Hindi </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=hu"> Hungarian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=is"> Icelandic </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=id"> Indonesian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=it"> Italian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=ja"> Japanese </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=kn"> Kannada </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=ko"> Korean </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=lv"> Latvian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=lt"> Lithuanian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=ms"> Malay </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=ml"> Malayalam </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=mr"> Marathi </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=no"> Norwegian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=pl"> Polish </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=pt-BR"> Portuguese (Brazil) </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=ro"> Romanian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=ru"> Russian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=sr"> Serbian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=sk"> Slovak </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=sl"> Slovenian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=es"> Spanish </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=sw"> Swahili </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=sv"> Swedish </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=ta"> Tamil </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=te"> Telugu </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=th"> Thai </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=tr"> Turkish </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=uk"> Ukrainian </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=ur"> Urdu </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=vi"> Vietnamese </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item " href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/?lang=cy"> Welsh </a> </li> <li><hr class="dropdown-divider"></li> <li class="dropdown-header" style="font-size: 11px; color: #6c757d; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 0.5px;"> <i class="fa fa-lock me-1"></i>More Languages <span style="font-size: 10px; text-transform: none; letter-spacing: normal;">(login required)</span> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item text-muted" href="/login?redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailygood.org%2Fstory%2F482%2Fthe-body-s-grace-on-being%2F%3Flang%3Dzh-TW"> <i class="fa fa-lock me-1" style="font-size: 10px;"></i> Chinese (Taiwan) </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item text-muted" href="/login?redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailygood.org%2Fstory%2F482%2Fthe-body-s-grace-on-being%2F%3Flang%3Den-GB"> <i class="fa fa-lock me-1" style="font-size: 10px;"></i> English (UK) </a> </li> <li> <a class="dropdown-item text-muted" href="/login?redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailygood.org%2Fstory%2F482%2Fthe-body-s-grace-on-being%2F%3Flang%3Dpt-PT"> <i class="fa fa-lock me-1" style="font-size: 10px;"></i> Portuguese (Portugal) </a> </li> </ul> </div> </div>  <div class="share-icons d-none d-md-block"> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailygood.org%2Fstory%2F482%2Fthe-body-s-grace-on-being%2F" target="_blank" class="share-icon" aria-label="Share on Facebook"> <i class="fab fa-facebook-f"></i> </a> <a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailygood.org%2Fstory%2F482%2Fthe-body-s-grace-on-being%2F&text=%3Cp%3E%3C%2Fp%3E+%3Ciframe+frameborder%3D%22no%22+height%3D%22450%22+scrolling%3D%22no%22+src%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fw.soundcloud.com%2Fplayer%2F%3Furl%3Dhttps%253A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F47511355%26amp%3Bauto_play%3Dfalse%26amp%3Bhide_related%3Dfalse%26amp%3Bshow_comments%3Dtrue%26amp%3Bshow_user%3Dtrue%26amp%3Bshow_reposts%3Dfals%20%3A%20laying+there%2C+you+keep+falling%2C+%26%2339%3Bcause+you%26%2339%3Bre+so+tired%2C+that+level+of+dropping+into+your+body+and+feeling%2C+like+if+you+were+to+take+that+experience+and+start+listening+then+to+your+body+from+t&via=&hashtags=" target="_blank" class="share-icon" aria-label="Share on Twitter"> <i class="fab fa-twitter"></i> </a> <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/sharing/share-offsite/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailygood.org%2Fstory%2F482%2Fthe-body-s-grace-on-being%2F" target="_blank" class="share-icon" aria-label="Share on LinkedIn"> <i class="fab fa-linkedin-in"></i> </a> <a href="https://api.whatsapp.com/send?text=%3Cp%3E%3C%2Fp%3E+%3Ciframe+frameborder%3D%22no%22+height%3D%22450%22+scrolling%3D%22no%22+src%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fw.soundcloud.com%2Fplayer%2F%3Furl%3Dhttps%253A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F47511355%26amp%3Bauto_play%3Dfalse%26amp%3Bhide_related%3Dfalse%26amp%3Bshow_comments%3Dtrue%26amp%3Bshow_user%3Dtrue%26amp%3Bshow_reposts%3Dfals%20%3A%20laying+there%2C+you+keep+falling%2C+%26%2339%3Bcause+you%26%2339%3Bre+so+tired%2C+that+level+of+dropping+into+your+body+and+feeling%2C+like+if+you+were+to+take+that+experience+and+start+listening+then+to+your+body+from+t%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailygood.org%2Fstory%2F482%2Fthe-body-s-grace-on-being%2F" target="_blank" class="share-icon d-none d-sm-inline-flex" aria-label="Share on WhatsApp"> <i class="fab fa-whatsapp"></i> </a> </div> </div> </div>  <div class="story-content" id="dg_story"> <div class="dark-link perm_post"> laying there, you keep falling, 'cause you're so tired, that level of dropping into your body and feeling, like if you were to take that experience and start listening then to your body from that level, that's what I think it is. It's a landing, it's a grounding, it's a feeling of embodiment. There's a reason why, when my son who's six is crying, he needs a hug. It's not just that he needs my love. He needs boundary around his experience. He needs to know that the pain is contained and can be housed and it won't be limiting his whole being that he can — he gets a hug and, hmm, he drops into his body. And when you drop into your body, paradoxically, typically pain is less. Pain gets more intense and more …</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: When you're afraid and try to keep it at bay.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: … and then pull out of it, it really denies freedom. And it's a great short-term strategy. That's what I did when I was 13. I pulled out of my body to get it, but it's a short-term strategy. And a lot of the process of my life is like embodying again and letting — and surrounding what's going on, so I can be part of the world.</p> <p>[Music]</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: At onbeing.org, download my entire unedited interview with Matthew Sanford. You can also watch a video of our in-studio conversation. And you can experience some of Matthew Sanford's adaptive yoga postures for yourself. We've posted a clip from his DVD "Beyond Disability" on our website. Find links to that and much more. Again, at onbeing.org.</p> <p>Coming up, more of Matthew Sanford's intricate experience of the mind-body connection; and the link between our bodies and compassion.</p> <p>I'm Krista Tippett. This program comes to you from APM, American Public Media.</p> <p>[Announcements]</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: I'm Krista Tippett, and this is <em>On Being</em>. Today, "The Body's Grace," with yoga teacher Matthew Sanford.</p> <p>He's been describing his arc of learning to be physically whole. In 1978, he was paralyzed from the chest down, in a car accident that killed his father and sister. He's written a book called <em>Waking: A Memoir of Trauma and Transcendence</em>. It's also a reflection on deeper lessons Matthew Sanford's life has for our larger culture. Here's another passage he read for me:</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: (reading) As I wake up to the horror of traumatically induced body memories, I am forced to feel death — not the end of my life, but the death of my life as a walking person.</p> <p>… In principle, my experience is not that uncommon, only more extreme. … If we can see death as more than black and white, as more than on and off, there are many versions of realized death short of physically dying. The death of a loved one sets so much in motion.</p> <p>… Then there are also the quiet deaths. How about the day you realized you weren't going to be an astronaut or the queen of Sheba? Feel the silent distance between yourself and how you felt as a child, between yourself and those feelings of wonder and splendor and trust. Feel your mature fondness for who you once were, and your current need to protect innocence wherever you might find it. The silence that surrounds the loss of innocence is a most serious death, and yet, it is necessary for the onset of maturity.</p> <p>What about the day we began working not for ourselves, but rather with a hope that our kids might have a better life? Or the day we realized that, on the whole, adult life is deeply repetitive? As our lives roll into the ordinary, when our ideals sputter and dissipate, as we wash the dishes after yet another meal, we are integrating death, a little part of us is dying, so that another part can live.</p> <p>[Music]</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: You know, I want to talk about how the way you've lived with what happened to you. I think our culture tends to like heroes, it tends to have phrases like "beating the odds" and "conquering" and "being victorious." And I'm sure you wouldn't want to diminish the example of somebody like Christopher Reeve, but, you know, that was an example of someone for whom, um, healing was only going to be reversing …</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Overcoming.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: … reversing what had happened to him.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Mm-hmm. And that would be a perfect example of a healing story. And I think that's a very pervasive one in our culture.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Yeah.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: And when it comes to healing, when it comes to a whole bunch, when it comes the aging, we admire that 80-year-old guy that runs a marathon.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Yeah.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: You know, we want to see that proof that mind can overcome matter because the body is going to be what ends up shutting down. And believe me, I didn't get this right away. I mean, I broke my leg doing yoga, you know? I'm …</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Because you were trying to be heroic. Right.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Oh, I was — all of a sudden, I wanted to do the poses and, like, show how much I could do and, whack, and …</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Stretch it to the limit.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: And I, unfortunately, had to not, you know, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. I had to break a bone again before I learned nonviolence.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: You mean nonviolence to your body?</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: To my body. But you need all kinds of strength. You need to be able to also — and it's overused. And I am now, just now, after 15 years of yoga, understand this word deeper and deeper, and that is "surrender." And it comes from being more present, surrendering into the world, feeling more. But I don't mean intellectually. I mean literally having your body as if you're getting hugged like my son. It has that like, "ah" feeling. That is really strong. But your heart feels vulnerable when you let yourself be in the world like that. That's why we avoid it. You know, the kind of strength that I'm talking about that has guided a lot of my exploration makes you feel, oh, so vulnerable and makes you have to feel more.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: In your story, there were times when you — say, one stage of your understanding of this and your grappling with it was to decide that you still had the use of the upper half of your body and that you would make that as strong as possible, and you would live in that part of your body and kind of declare the rest of it gone.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: That's how I was guided to believe, in my opinion.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Right. And did you, in fact, feel more invulnerable when you had made that kind of declaration?</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Um, you know, did I feel invincible? No. But that idea of being willful and being able to attack any problem with a lot of will …</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Yeah.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: … that makes you feel a type of control over the world …</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Yeah.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: … that can make you feel less vulnerable. But I also know the unthinkable is possible. You can have as much control as you want, but the world is so big. Life does its own thing with us on some level.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: You know what's so interesting? The, you know, the phrase — I think all the language around something like a mind-body connection is a little bit loaded, just like a lot of the language around religion and spirituality can sound New Age-y. And, I mean, you had the experience with physicians that you did yoga and they thought of you as New Age-y. And I think part of that is just a language problem. But what you're pointing out is that a lot of our — the culture's glorification of will and triumphing by determination, that's also a form of mind-body, you know, we're asserting the mind-body connection without calling it that.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Right. It's a form of integration. Dominance over bodies …</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Right.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: … is what human beings have done for thousands of years, whether it be nature, whether it be each other. That it's — my whole point is that we also need — that's one thing we want in the tool belt, to use will when you need to have it. But we, I think, are just on the beginning of realizing that there are many other ways to integrate with body. And, in fact, I believe our human survival over time is going to depend on us getting much more subtly aware of bodies.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: And even in bodies that don't function with the perfection to which we aspire, which, in fact, is a fallacy.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Which is one of the things about yoga …</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: And I mean, aging is an example of that as well.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: And also, you know, I also specialize in adapting yoga to people with disabilities.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Right.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: And one of my — it makes me love yoga so much more. Yoga can travel through any body. It's not about the perfect pose. It's not that. It's like literally it's a phenomenon that occurs at your mind's intent and your body's limits. I thought when I first started teaching adaptive yoga, that's what I started teaching first. I thought, "Well …</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: And adaptive yoga means?</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Just adapting yoga poses and whatever you can to allow or have someone that lives with not as able a body.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: For whatever is physically possible.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Right, to do whatever they can do with yoga, adapting it to someone who doesn't have as easy of a mind-body relationship. But you see in class what they're already doing. The things that some of my students already do just to live their everyday life are themselves miraculous solutions to a mind-body problem. It's not, like, "Oh, do it this way. This way is better. This way is better." You better make sure you understand why they're moving the way they're moving, what problem it's solving. And it makes you just go, "Oh, my goodness, there is so much ingenuity in the human mind-body relationship." And then you try to help them do it with not so much will.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: I want to ask you about something you wrote. "I have never seen anyone truly become more aware of his or her body without also becoming more compassionate." What's that about? What's that? Why is that?</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Well, it's just true. It's an observation.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: But why do you think it's true?</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: I think it's true for a lot — I think exactly — in my opinion, when mind separates from body, we get more self-destructive. We get more destructive in general.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: If we're more separate from our own selves, are we more separate from others as well?</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: I think so. As you're more in your body, you do feel more connected to people. You think about the importance of other life. And when you're part of the world, it's much harder to not feel compassion about the world.</p> <p>(Sound of yoga class)</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: All right, so now, you know, lay flat on your mat — are we staggered in here? Everyone OK?</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: We visited a class Matthew Sanford taught one Monday evening at the Courage Center, a rehabilitation complex for people with all kinds of physical challenges in Golden Valley, Minnesota. He's also worked in recent years with military veterans. In this class, volunteers assist the students, some of whom are paraplegic, to move their bodies into the poses Matthew Sanford calls out from a mat.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: <em>(instructing class)</em> So now everyone that's — we're trying to get everyone all set. But if you're already laying on your back, take your arms over your head. Take your arms over your head. Straighten your arms. Straighten your arms and stretch out through your heels. Literally grow. Get taller. But then I want to — have you pick a point in the center of your body, like lay in — where your back is touching the floor in the mid-back. Like literally try to grow from the center of your body out through your fingertips, out through your heels.</p> <p>One of the things we give up, you know, when we have difficult mind-body relationships is we give up presence, stretching from the fingertips out through the feet. And I don't even care if you can't physically do it, right? I want you to start seeing your presence in your body as if it's growing, like it's organic and it includes your body. Mm-hmm. So this next couple of breaths, breathe with your back body, breathe …</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Watch video and see photos of Matthew Sanford's adaptive yoga class at onbeing.org. I'm Krista Tippett, and this is <em>On Being</em> — conversation about meaning, religion, ethics, and ideas.</p> <p>Today, with Matthew Sanford on "The Body's Grace."</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: And I have to say, I'm sitting here with you and your body is very alive and it seems to me to be very connected. You know, you're in a wheelchair, but you're animated. You have incredible energy. And do you use that word "disability" for yourself? Do you think of yourself as disabled? And if you do, what does that mean?</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: I have a whole bunch of thoughts about that. I get tired of having the language have to be correct.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Yeah.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: And I think the language is the first step of moving consciousness, so I tolerate it, you know? But when someone tells me that I can't call myself disabled or a paraplegic or something, or whatever the word may be, I kind of want to look at him and go, "Wait, it's my experience."</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: And probably — don't want you to use the word because it's uncomfortable for somebody else.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: For them.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Yes.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Well, that's my point, you know? It's like I realize it's an attempt to bring more awareness to the issue that surrounds disability. But I think it brings too much morality around it, like there's a right thing and wrong thing to say. And I think that that's not consciousness, that's just words.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: OK.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Right. So that's the level on that. But do I think of myself as disabled? I have to tell you honestly that there are times, even now, 27-plus years later, where I will see my shadow and be shocked. You know, like I'll look at it. It's in a wheelchair and it's like, "Wow, that's what I look like when I'm wheeling through the world." Like, I don't, but at the same time, I definitely am disabled.</p> <p>But my life force isn't completely determined by the ability to flex muscles, that there's something here. I don't know what it is and I don't care of it's neurophysiologically explained, but there's a presence here that flows through us that isn't solely determined by the fact if I could stand up or not. And I've always felt that surge. I also know that that connection was what made me such a good athlete as a little kid. It's like, you feel a free throw. And it comes from your legs, and it comes from your arms, and it comes from unity. All that unity is still here, right? I just can't quite stand up.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: So, you know, you describe in your book that at different times in your life, and through all the operations, and your initial injury and other injuries, you then, at some point, started to realize that healing could look like something different than being able to walk again. I mean, do you feel that you are healed?</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: I think my mind-body relationship continues to heal, that as I practice yoga and pay attention and be in love with the world, actually, it continues to heal. Before I started yoga, I really did feel like a floating upper torso. And like when I'd be talking here with you, I'd be more talking just with my upper body. You can still see it. And a lot of people have …</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Yeah, but you are — I feel like you're talking with your whole body.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: The whole thing. It's moving through the whole thing. And that presence was not realized in me before I started yoga.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: And you're saying that that presence is about your mind being connected to your physical …</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: And like I'm talking with you with my whole being. It's like yoga poured water on me and through me. And I was really dry and kind of tired before and that there was so much more here that needed to just kind of be here, right? And so I practice yoga not just to become, like, really great at yoga poses. I practice yoga to feel this.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Um, you say at one point in your memoir that you completely disagree when people say, "My body is failing me." I'm in my 40s too. You know, people start to say this after they're 40. It's your eyes or your knees, right? But you say that that's absolutely wrong.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: And I say that and it's full of grief for me because I took advantage of my body as a 13-year-old by leaving my body to absorb all the trauma that it did. And one of the lessons that I've learned is it was my body that kept me living. Your body, for as long as it possibly can, will be faithful to living. That's what it does.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: I mean, even despite the fact that it — that there's decay that comes with age.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: It's coming apart. It's because — like, my body didn't ask to get hammered and break, and to have its spine shredded, and many bones broken. And it went, "OK, let's regroup. Let's go." And only a little part of my body didn't heal. Only — you know, an inch or two of my spinal cord was not able to regenerate. It went to work, right, and that's what it'll do. It might get confused. It might not know how to grow the right cells, but I'm telling you, it's moving toward living for as long as it possibly can.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: So if we know that about our bodies, even as we age, even as there are things happening in them that we don't like, how might we live differently in that awareness?</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: You know, there's a thing in yoga. It's called pranayama. It's yogic breathing. And you breathe in a yoga pose for the spaces — I believe this — for the spaces that you can't feel. You don't just breathe for the bicep that you can really flex. You are trying to get life force through the spaces you can't feel. When you do, your balance increases, your strength increases, your flexibility increases. I think that when you talk about in terms of honoring your body, but don't make that a moral insight, you know? Like, "Oh, no, I better only eat this or not that," and get all caught up in …</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Right. Right. And that is the other way we do it too.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: And that's the other way we do it.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Yeah.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: We work until we think that that's a moral insight. So, you know, grace — I like grace — or responsibility to my body. That, boy, doesn't inspire me at all.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Mm-hmm. And you're saying be graceful with your body, is that what you mean?</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Or know that the places you don't feel in you are graceful. They're not lost. They're not absence. They're part of your strength, of your fiber. In a piece of wood, it's not just the grains of wood. It's the empty space and spaces between the grains of wood that make it strong. It's both. And so the world gets lighter and easier when you include more of yourself here.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: And how do you think about — deal with those parts of your body that you don't like what's happening to them, the skin that's aging, the knees that hurt? I mean, those are minor problems compared to the pain that you …</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: No, no. But — no, this is hard. This takes patience. I'd like to tell you there's a one magic insight and suddenly it's all easy. No, it's work, like everything else. I know, I think more — I don't know more deeply, but differently than most people, how much my body has absorbed and moved toward living still.</p> <p>So I look at — you know, I have places — skin on my body, you know, old pressure sores and old stuff that happened — that you can see the skin is struggling to stay and hold. I don't, "Oh, it's not holding, dang it." I feel like, "Man, it's working as hard as it can," you know? How are you going to see it? Are you leaving here? Is your presence changing as you leave here that allows for other things? Yeah, my body does not heal as well as it used to when I was 13. That's true. My physical body doesn't do it. But because of the compassion I can feel for my body, for others, something else is healing.</p> <p>[Music]</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: You have a six-year-old son. There's nothing in the world more embodied than a six-year-old boy. Pure energy.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Yeah.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Pure physicality. How does your son think about your body?</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: I was so worried about this before I was a parent. I thought that he would have more issues than he does. He likes the idea that he's going to be taller than me sooner.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: OK.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: And he hasn't quite grasped that I'm actually almost six feet tall.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Because you're in a wheelchair.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: Right.</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Yeah.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: He doesn't quite get that. So he likes that part. He's always kind of measuring himself against me. Paul is amazing. There are a couple of times when we've been in, like, on "Daddy and Me Days." There is one story that it was a relay race at, like, his nursery school or preschool. It was like this kind of running down this mat and going to the end and coming back. And I couldn't line up with them and do the relay with them, so the other dads and sons were doing it. But he did it on his own right down along the side, and ran down and then came back, and came back and gave me a big high-five. And so he knows that I can't do all the things. But when he came back and high-fived me and went, "Hey, we did it anyway," it was like silence and love.</p> <p>[Music]</p> <p>Ms. Tippett: Matthew Sanford's book is <em>Waking: A Memoir of Trauma and Transcendence</em>. His DVD is<em>Beyond Disability</em>. He's the founder and president of Mind Body Solutions in Minnetonka, Minnesota.</p> <p>Like many of you, I practice yoga, as do some of my colleagues: vinyasa, Iyengar, hot yoga. You can read about our personal experiences on our blog, and we'd welcome your stories too. Find that on our website — onbeing.org — along with another conversation with a wonderful teacher of yoga, Seane Corn. You can take in a video of her demonstrating what she calls "Body Prayer." It's a stunning few minutes of grace, athleticism and spiritual focus. And you can watch my in-studio conversation with Matthew Sanford or listen again and download this show. That's all at onbeing.org.</p> <p>And if you spend time on Facebook, Tumblr, or Twitter, you'll find us in all those places too.</p> <p>This program is produced by Chris Heagle, Nancy Rosenbaum, Susan Leem, and Stefni Bell. Anne Breckbill is our Web developer. Trent Gilliss is our senior editor. And I'm Krista Tippett.</p> <p>Mr. Sanford: And then, now, take your hands out straight, straight over you like you're getting long, like you're Superman flying through the air. And then, even if you can't do what I'm about to say, it's OK because I can't do it either, right? I want you to lift both your hands and your legs off the mat and extend. Shalabasana. Even if you can't do it, Tim, come on, do it anyway. And breathe, and then release. Take a break. That's a hard pose, by the way.</p> <p>***</p> <p><b>Special invitation: Six years ago Ellen Pavitt was in a plane crash that left her paralyzed. In facing her new reality she felt a deep aspiration to grow spiritually and to be more loving. She now sees those two aspirations as one and the same. Join an intimate circle with Pat Benincasa in conversation with Ellen this Thursday: We Create Our Own Reality. RSVP info and more details <a href="https://www.servicespace.org/event/view.php?eid=12979">here.</a></b></p> </div> </div>    <div class="inline-share-icons border-0 mt-0 pt-0"> <div class="d-flex align-items-center"> <span class="me-3 fw-semibold">Share this story:</span> <div> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailygood.org%2Fstory%2F482%2Fthe-body-s-grace-on-being%2F" target="_blank" class="share-icon" aria-label="Share on Facebook"> <i class="fab fa-facebook-f"></i> </a> <a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailygood.org%2Fstory%2F482%2Fthe-body-s-grace-on-being%2F&text=%3Cp%3E%3C%2Fp%3E+%3Ciframe+frameborder%3D%22no%22+height%3D%22450%22+scrolling%3D%22no%22+src%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fw.soundcloud.com%2Fplayer%2F%3Furl%3Dhttps%253A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F47511355%26amp%3Bauto_play%3Dfalse%26amp%3Bhide_related%3Dfalse%26amp%3Bshow_comments%3Dtrue%26amp%3Bshow_user%3Dtrue%26amp%3Bshow_reposts%3Dfals%20%3A%20laying+there%2C+you+keep+falling%2C+%26%2339%3Bcause+you%26%2339%3Bre+so+tired%2C+that+level+of+dropping+into+your+body+and+feeling%2C+like+if+you+were+to+take+that+experience+and+start+listening+then+to+your+body+from+t&via=&hashtags=" target="_blank" class="share-icon" aria-label="Share on Twitter"> <i class="fab fa-twitter"></i> </a> <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/sharing/share-offsite/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailygood.org%2Fstory%2F482%2Fthe-body-s-grace-on-being%2F" target="_blank" class="share-icon" aria-label="Share on LinkedIn"> <i class="fab fa-linkedin-in"></i> </a> <a href="https://api.whatsapp.com/send?text=%3Cp%3E%3C%2Fp%3E+%3Ciframe+frameborder%3D%22no%22+height%3D%22450%22+scrolling%3D%22no%22+src%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fw.soundcloud.com%2Fplayer%2F%3Furl%3Dhttps%253A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F47511355%26amp%3Bauto_play%3Dfalse%26amp%3Bhide_related%3Dfalse%26amp%3Bshow_comments%3Dtrue%26amp%3Bshow_user%3Dtrue%26amp%3Bshow_reposts%3Dfals%20%3A%20laying+there%2C+you+keep+falling%2C+%26%2339%3Bcause+you%26%2339%3Bre+so+tired%2C+that+level+of+dropping+into+your+body+and+feeling%2C+like+if+you+were+to+take+that+experience+and+start+listening+then+to+your+body+from+t%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailygood.org%2Fstory%2F482%2Fthe-body-s-grace-on-being%2F" target="_blank" class="share-icon d-none d-sm-inline-flex" aria-label="Share on WhatsApp"> <i class="fab fa-whatsapp"></i> </a> </div> </div> </div>   <div class="comments-section mt-3 border-top-0"> <a name="addcomment"></a> <h3 class="h5 pb-2 section-header"> <i class="bi bi-chat-quote text-primary"></i> <span>COMMUNITY REFLECTIONS</span> <hr> </h3> <div class="alert alert-success mb-5" role="alert" id="cmtform_box"> <h5 class="card-title mb-3 fw-bold p-0 fs-2">SHARE YOUR REFLECTION</h5> <form id="comment-form" method="post" action="https://www.dailygood.org/story/482/the-body-s-grace-on-being/"> <input type="hidden" name="t" value="addComment"> <input type="hidden" name="story_id" value="482"> <input type="hidden" name="pcmt_id" id="pcmt_id" value=""> <div id="form-message-container" class="mb-3" style="display:none;"></div> <textarea id="comment_text" name="comment_text" rows="3" class="form-control mb-3" placeholder="Share your thoughts on this story..." required></textarea> <div class="row mt-3"> <div class="col-sm-6"> <div class="input-group mb-3"> <span class="input-group-text"><i class="far fa-user"></i></span> <input type="text" name="comment_name" id="comment_name" value="" class="form-control" placeholder="Your name" required> </div> </div> <div class="col-sm-6"> <div class="input-group mb-3"> <span class="input-group-text"><i class="far fa-envelope"></i></span> <input type="email" name="comment_email" id="comment_email" value="" class="form-control" placeholder="Your email (not published)" required> </div> </div> </div> <div class="d-flex justify-content-between align-items-center mt-3"> <div class="form-check"> <input class="form-check-input" type="checkbox" id="subscribe" name="subscribe" value="1"> <label class="form-check-label" for="subscribe"> Notify me of follow-up comments </label> </div> <div>  <button type="submit" class="btn btn-info px-4 g-recaptcha" data-sitekey="6Ld9FbYpAAAAAGIucyXK_lxDVb-6tDGgPuXN0OPm" data-callback='onSubmit' data-action='submit'> <i class="bi bi-send me-2"></i>Post Comment </button> </div> </div> </form> </div> <script src="https://www.google.com/recaptcha/enterprise.js?render=6Ld9FbYpAAAAAGIucyXK_lxDVb-6tDGgPuXN0OPm"></script> <script> function onSubmit(token) { document.getElementById("comment-form").submit(); }</script> <script> $(document).ready(function() { // Toggle between short and full comments $('.see_full_cmt').on('click', function(e) { e.preventDefault(); var cid = $(this).attr('cid'); $('.short_cmt' + cid).hide(); $('.long_cmt' + cid).show(); }); $('.see_short_cmt').on('click', function(e) { e.preventDefault(); var cid = $(this).attr('cid'); $('.long_cmt' + cid).hide(); $('.short_cmt' + cid).show(); }); }); </script> </div>   </div> </div> </div> </div> </section> <script src="js/story.js?2cue"></script>  <footer class="footer"> <div class="container"> <div class="row"> <div class="col-md-5 mb-4 mb-md-0"> <h5 class="footer-title">About DailyGood</h5> <p class="footer-about-text"> For over 29 years, DailyGood has been a volunteer-led movement to share uplifting stories that connect hearts and inspire action — all without ads, agendas, or asks. Change the story, change the world. </p> <a href="about" class="footer-about-link"> <span>Learn Our Story</span> <i class="bi bi-arrow-right"></i> </a>  </div> <div class="col-md-1 mb-4 mb-md-0"></div> <div class="col-md-3 mb-4 mb-md-0"> <h5 class="footer-title">Get More Engaged</h5> <div class="footer-links"> <a href="subscribe">Subscribe to Our Newsletters</a> <a href="https://pod.servicespace.org/apply/" target="_blank">Join Peer-learning Pods</a> <a href="https://www.awakin.ai" target="_blank">Chat with Compassion AI</a> <a href="https://www.awakin.org/v2/calls" target="_blank">Listen to Awakin Podcast</a> </div> </div> <div class="col-md-3"> <h5 class="footer-title">Connect With Us</h5> <div class="footer-links"> <a href="suggest"><i class="bi bi-lightbulb me-2"></i>Suggest A Story</a> <a href="publish"><i class="bi bi-send me-2"></i>Share Your Story</a> <a href="my"><i class="bi bi-people me-2"></i>Volunteer With Us</a> <a href="contact"><i class="bi bi-envelope me-2"></i>Send An Email</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="copyright text-center"> <p>DailyGood — a project of <a target='_blank' href="https://www.servicespace.org">ServiceSpace</a>.</p> </div> </div> </footer>  <script src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/bootstrap@5.1.3/dist/js/bootstrap.bundle.min.js"></script>  <script src="https://cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/OwlCarousel2/2.3.4/owl.carousel.min.js"></script>   <script src="js/scripts.js?2cue"></script> <script> (function() { 'use strict'; console.log('SSO: Script starting'); // Cooldown periods (in milliseconds) var QUICK_COOLDOWN = 10000; // 10 seconds - between any checks (per-tab) var NOT_LOGGED_IN_TTL = 1800000; // 30 minutes - how long to remember "not logged in" var VISIBILITY_MIN_AGE = 300000; // 5 minutes - min age before tab-switch triggers recheck // When user returns to this tab after being away a while, clear the // "not logged in" cache so we re-check SSO status. This handles the // case where user logs in on another tab/site then returns here. document.addEventListener('visibilitychange', function() { if (document.visibilityState === 'visible') { var checkedAt = parseInt(localStorage.getItem('sso_not_logged_in_at') || '0'); if (checkedAt && (Date.now() - checkedAt >= VISIBILITY_MIN_AGE)) { console.log('SSO: Tab visible after 5+ min, clearing cache for fresh check'); localStorage.removeItem('sso_not_logged_in_at'); sessionStorage.removeItem('sso_last_attempt'); } } }); // Check if user just logged out - skip SSO check to prevent re-login loop if (document.cookie.indexOf('sso_logout=') !== -1) { console.log('SSO: Recent logout detected, skipping check'); // Clear the cookie now that we've respected it document.cookie = 'sso_logout=; expires=Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 UTC; path=/;'; // Also cache that we're not logged in (prevents check on next tab) localStorage.setItem('sso_not_logged_in_at', Date.now().toString()); return; } var urlParams = new URLSearchParams(window.location.search); var ssoToken = urlParams.get('sso_token'); // Handle returning from redirect-based flow with sso_token if (ssoToken) { console.log('SSO: Has sso_token from redirect flow, completing login'); sessionStorage.setItem('sso_last_attempt', Date.now().toString()); // Clear the "not logged in" cache since we're about to log in localStorage.removeItem('sso_not_logged_in_at'); // Clean the URL by removing sso_token parameter var cleanUrl = window.location.href.split('?')[0]; var params = new URLSearchParams(window.location.search); params.delete('sso_token'); params.delete('sso_checked'); var remainingParams = params.toString(); if (remainingParams) { cleanUrl += '?' + remainingParams; } // Redirect to local login endpoint with the token window.location.href = '/sso/login.php?token=' + encodeURIComponent(ssoToken) + '&return=' + encodeURIComponent(cleanUrl); return; } // If sso_checked flag is present, Pod confirmed we're not logged in there if (urlParams.get('sso_checked')) { console.log('SSO: sso_checked param present, user not logged in on Pod'); // Store in localStorage so ALL tabs know we're not logged in localStorage.setItem('sso_not_logged_in_at', Date.now().toString()); sessionStorage.setItem('sso_last_attempt', Date.now().toString()); // Clean sso_checked from URL so it doesn't appear in shared/copied links var params = new URLSearchParams(window.location.search); params.delete('sso_checked'); var clean = params.toString(); var cleanUrl = window.location.pathname + (clean ? '?' + clean : '') + window.location.hash; history.replaceState(null, '', cleanUrl); return; } // Check localStorage cache: are we already confirmed "not logged in"? var notLoggedInAt = parseInt(localStorage.getItem('sso_not_logged_in_at') || '0'); if (notLoggedInAt && (Date.now() - notLoggedInAt < NOT_LOGGED_IN_TTL)) { console.log('SSO: Cached not-logged-in (' + Math.round((NOT_LOGGED_IN_TTL - (Date.now() - notLoggedInAt))/60000) + ' min remaining), skipping'); return; } // Quick cooldown: Don't check too frequently within same tab (10 seconds) var lastAttempt = parseInt(sessionStorage.getItem('sso_last_attempt') || '0'); if (Date.now() - lastAttempt < QUICK_COOLDOWN) { console.log('SSO: Within quick cooldown, skipping check'); return; } // Prevent concurrent checks if (window.ssoChecking) { console.log('SSO: Already checking, skipping'); return; } window.ssoChecking = true; // Helper function to do redirect-based SSO check function doRedirectCheck() { console.log('SSO: Using redirect approach'); sessionStorage.setItem('sso_last_attempt', Date.now().toString()); var returnUrl = encodeURIComponent(window.location.href); window.location.href = 'https://pod.servicespace.org/sso/check.php?return=' + returnUrl; } // Check if we already tried fetch and it failed (use redirect instead) var fetchFailed = sessionStorage.getItem('sso_fetch_failed'); if (fetchFailed) { console.log('SSO: Fetch previously failed, using redirect approach'); sessionStorage.removeItem('sso_fetch_failed'); doRedirectCheck(); return; } console.log('SSO: Starting fetch to Pod status endpoint'); // Try fetch approach first (works when third-party cookies allowed) fetch('https://pod.servicespace.org/sso/status.php', { method: 'GET', credentials: 'include', mode: 'cors', cache: 'no-store' }) .then(function(response) { console.log('SSO: Got response', response.status); if (!response.ok) throw new Error('Network error: ' + response.status); return response.json(); }) .then(function(data) { console.log('SSO: Parsed data', data); sessionStorage.setItem('sso_last_attempt', Date.now().toString()); if (data.logged_in && data.token) { console.log('SSO: User logged in on Pod, redirecting to local login'); // Clear cached "not logged in" since user IS logged in localStorage.removeItem('sso_not_logged_in_at'); window.location.href = '/sso/login.php?token=' + encodeURIComponent(data.token) + '&return=' + encodeURIComponent(window.location.href); } else if (!data.logged_in && data.cookie_present === false) { // Third-party cookies are blocked! // Pod didn't receive any cookies, so it can't know if user is logged in // Try redirect fallback which uses first-party Pod cookie console.log('SSO: Cookies blocked (third-party), trying redirect fallback'); doRedirectCheck(); } else { console.log('SSO: Not logged in on Pod (confirmed with cookies present)'); // User genuinely not logged in on Pod - cache in localStorage localStorage.setItem('sso_not_logged_in_at', Date.now().toString()); window.ssoChecking = false; } }) .catch(function(error) { console.log('SSO: Fetch failed:', error.message); // Mark that fetch failed so we use redirect sessionStorage.setItem('sso_fetch_failed', '1'); sessionStorage.setItem('sso_last_attempt', Date.now().toString()); doRedirectCheck(); }); })(); </script> </body> </html>